


Sometimes It Fits

by ballsdeepinwinchesters



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Ben Braeden is Dean Winchester's Son, Bottom Castiel, Bottom Dean, Casual Sex, Doctor Castiel, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Falling In Love, Flip-Fucking, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Love, M/M, Paramedic Dean, Top Castiel, Top Dean, little to no angst, mid-to-late-thirties love is underrated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 18:55:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 37,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5344868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ballsdeepinwinchesters/pseuds/ballsdeepinwinchesters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is an over-worked, socially awkward neurosurgeon; Dean is the ruggedly handsome paramedic that asks him out for drinks. The rest kind of fell into place.</p><p>(This was originally just supposed to be a casual sex pwp, but hey, mid-to-late-thirties love is highly under appreciated and we could all use some domestic fluff in our lives. So the first chapter can be read by itself as pwp, and the second chapter is the rest of the fic.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

There are a lot of things Castiel Novak cares about, but as a neurosurgeon, he doesn't really have time to care about all those things. He has time to care about his hands, his job, his patients; he barely has time to care about his health, and that's practically a necessity to keep him performing at his best. What he doesn't have time to care about, however, are trivial things like his hair, his house plants (he had to learn that the hard way, and now he decorates with plastic ferns instead of real ones), and dating.

It's not like he isn't interested. People still catch his eye occasionally, but before he even has a chance to check out their physical qualities, he's being paged. It's really, really annoying. All Cas wants is someone to help him blow off some steam every once in awhile; is that really so much to ask for? So until he can find someone to fill that hole (metaphorically speaking, of course, that's just crude) his nights are spent sipping wine and binge-watching surgical shows and documentaries.

He’s on the back nine of a 30-hour shift when he sees someone who _might_ be the best-looking guy he’s seen since Marlon Brando (young Marlon Brando, obviously). He finally got out of an especially long and stressful orbitozygomatic craniotomy, and the first thing on his mind is coffee. He keeps his order simple: the biggest vat of black coffee they have and add two shots of espresso (Honestly, at this point his blood is probably 90% coffee anyways). So he takes his coffee with a quiet thanks and sits down at a table, taking out some paperwork he needs to catch up on.

Castiel is halfway through the giant cup of coffee when he looks up and spots _him_ \- and _he_ is quite the sight. He’s a paramedic, obviously since he’s wearing the uniform (and _God_ is he wearing that uniform), tall, tan, and built like an old movie star. Castiel stops dead in his tracks to take full advantage of this man not facing him. Despite always spending his time at the hospital, Cas would know if he’d seen him before- he doesn’t really know how he could forget. Castiel’s eyes couldn’t really figure out what to focus on what with the way he’s leaning over the counter, the navy blue slacks hugging him in _all of the right places_ , but then again his light blue shirt is pulled tight enough over his back muscles to really give Cas and eye-full. It is all very overwhelming to say the least.

The guy tosses his head back a little bit and lets out a hearty laugh, and Cas can feel his heartbeat in his ears. (Who the hell gave this guy the right to be so damn attractive and have a laugh like that?) Cas’ eyes make their way back down to the man’s ( _stupidly perfect_ ) ass and fixates until the guy turns around and Cas has to awkwardly try to evade looking at his package. Castiel looks away immediately, pretends to look at something just past the guy, makes a face and then looks back down at his papers (He’s really hoping the guy can’t see how deep a shade of red Cas is blushing, and really, _really_ hoping the guy didn’t see Cas checking him out).

Castiel risks a second glance up and the guy catches his eye right as he’s about to walk out the door. Cas’ heart skips a little when he makes eye contact, but it’s nothing compared to the jolt he gets when he guy winks at him with a grin on his lips. Cas doesn’t smile back- doesn’t even have time to think about smiling back (because he’s so incredibly awkward and horrible at social interaction as it is)- before the guy turns away and walks away.

Castiel isn’t immature enough to say this stranger is all he thinks about because he isn’t. Cas is almost 40 years old, works between 80-100 hours on his slow weeks, and has responsibilities; he doesn’t have time for schoolyard crushes. That being said, he might _sometimes_ sit in the hospital’s coffee shop when he has some free time, and yes, admittedly, he does _occasionally_ think about the paramedic when he’s in the shower (sue him). But Cas is an adult. He doesn’t have time for crushes.

The next time he sees the paramedic, Cas is completely and thoroughly exhausted. He’s dragging along after an extensive 8 hours in the ER and has just enough energy left in him to grab a coffee before slumping down at the nearest table. He takes a long gulp from his cup before letting his head fall back and close his eyes. Nobody ever said brain surgery was easy (That’s actually the exact opposite of what everyone says), but Castiel hadn’t ever really wanted to do anything else. So this was his life, and he had to live it with all of its perks and downfalls.

He’s suddenly startled when he hears the scraping of the chair across from him, and he sits up straight and is met with the face of an angel (or the devil, who knows). The paramedic is sitting down across from him with an easy, casual smile that’s seven kinds of sinful if Cas is reading it correctly. He’s got bright green eyes, deep eye crinkles, and a spattering of brown freckles all around. Castiel was very suddenly aware that he hadn’t shaved in three days and hasn’t even touched his hair since the last time he showered (When was that again?).

“Hey,” the man says- and his speaking voice is even better than what Castiel imagined. Cas silently sends a thanks to God in advance.

Cas clears his throat before attempting to make himself look casual. “Hello.”

“Rough day?” Cas opens his mouth to respond with something sarcastic (it’s a knee-jerk reaction) when the guy extends an open hand. “Dean.”

“Castiel,” he returns as he shakes the hand offered to him. “And yes. I just spent the last-” Cas checks his watch for the time. “-eight or nine hours in the ER.”

Cas tries to hide a yawn behind his hand before drinking some more of his coffee. Dean nods with raised eyebrows. “I know how that goes. I’m on the tailend of a 12-hour shift myself.” Dean sips his own coffee and peers at him with genuine interest. “You a surgeon?”

“Neuro,” he answers. Dean looks like he’s impressed and about to respond when Castiel’s _godforsaken_ beeper goes off. Cas sighs deeply and gives Dean an apologetic look. “I have to go.”

“No worries,” Dean returns with a warm smile. Cas wants nothing more than to slump back down in his seat and just listen to Dean talk in that sweet, Southern accent of his, but he’s needed for a consult. “I’ll be seein’ you around.” Dean gives him another wink before he walks away and Cas could swear he almost felt his knees buckle.

After that encounter, Castiel’s showers get a little longer, and his imagination runs a little more rampant. Still, though, he doesn’t have time to genuinely have an interest in this man. He does, however, let his eyes scope out the coffee shop whenever he walks by (just in case) or when drops in for one of his various refueling sessions.

The next time he sees Dean, it’s over two weeks later and it’s not even in the coffee shop. Cas is on his way into work, walking the couple of blocks from his apartment to the hospital. Dean’s pacing the sidewalk on his cellphone, talking very seriously about something. Castiel wonders if maybe he’s talking to his boyfriend or girlfriend, but then thinks Dean probably wouldn’t wink at him nearly as much if he was taken. Either way, he doesn’t intend on stopping, so he hoists his messenger back higher on his shoulder and walks past him.

“Cas!” Dean calls out from behind him. Surprised, Cas turns around and Dean says something into his cellphone before shoving it in his pocket and walking up to him. It might be six in the morning, but Cas allows himself just a second to check out the endearing way Dean’s legs are bowed as he approaches. “Here I was thinking we’d never see each other again.” Dean stops just outside Cas’ personal space and puts his hands in his pockets. “You’re not avoiding me, are you?”

Cas tilts his head at him in confusion. “Why would I avoid you?”

Dean laughs a little. “Just checking.” Cas checks his watch just to make sure he has time to socialize before his shift is supposed to start. “If you’re busy, by all means-”

“No, I have some time,” he replies flatly before sipping from his travel mug.

“I wanted to ask the other night if you wanted to grab a drink with me. Y’know, if you actually drink something other than coffee,” Dean says with a big grin. Cas feels a small smile play at his lips and shuffles on his feet. He’s about to say yes when a beeper goes off. He checks his side, but it’s not his. “That’s me,” Dean says with a groan. He rolls his eyes before looking up at him expectantly and slowly starts backing away. “What time are you off?”

“2100 hours.”

Dean’s grin widens. “Meet you here then?” Castiel nods and licks his lips. “It’s a date.” Cas returns Dean’s smile and Dean winks at him before turning away.

The rest of the day surprisingly passes by a lot faster than it usually does (possibly because Cas actually has something to look forward to after his shift other than half of a bottle of merlot and leftover takeout). He spends a little extra time in the locker rooms making sure he looks presentable and wearing whatever spare outfit he had sitting in his locker before brushing his teeth again and heading outside.

Dean’s leaned back and sitting on the benches, thumbs tapping away on his cellphone. Cas slows down so he can catch his breath because _wow_ , Dean looked perfect in his uniform, but it doesn’t even compare to how sexy he looks in tight dark jeans, a grey henley and a black leather jacket. Cas is absently wondering if Dean has a motorcycle when Dean looks up and grins at him (to which Cas finds himself melting over once again). “I feel underdressed,” Cas admits with a gesture to himself. His white button-up shirt and jeans aren’t awful, but they make him feel pretty plain next to Dean.

“Nah, you look good,” Dean responds as he stands up and meets Cas halfway. Dean looks him up and down with a small nod to himself, and Cas feels the heat creep up his neck. As soon as Dean’s within arm’s reach, Cas can smell his cologne and honestly, he wouldn’t even think twice if Dean bent him over the bench right next to them, and- “You ready?”

Cas stiffens a little and swallows down the thought that popped into his head. “Of course.”

They start walking down the lit up sidewalk and Dean puts his hands in his coat pockets. “You ever go to O’Malley’s?”

“The bar across the street?” Dean nods. “I’ve been a few times over the last year or so, but I do most of my drinking at home,” Cas says honestly with a nervous laugh to punctuate the end.

“Oh yeah? What kind of bar you runnin’?”

“It’s not so much of a _bar_ as it is just a wine hutch.” Dean chuckles lightly as they wait for the light to change, indicating their turn to cross the street. “What about you? Do you go to O’Malley’s often?”

“More often than I probably should. Me and the guys hang out here after work most nights. Buddy of mine is actually the bartender, so he hooks us up with free appetizers.” When they approach the door, Dean holds it open for Cas and follows in close behind. Cas can feel Dean’s jacket graze his back and his breath against his ear, and gives a small shudder. “No better way to a guy’s heart than free appetizers.”

The bar is clean and not as busy as it was the last time Castiel visited (then again, he was with a large group of people, so it was probably just the occasion). Dean puts a hand on the small of his back and lightly guides him to the end of the bar where they take their seats. The big, bear of a bartender spots them and heads over with a big smile on his face. “Hey, brother, ain’t seen you in a long time.”

Dean chuckles and leans over the bar comfortably to clap hands with the guy. “Yeah, what’s it been? 20? 30 hours?” The men laugh and Castiel sits comfortably in silence next to them as they exchange some more small talk. “Ben, this is Cas. Cas, Benny.”

Cas smiles slightly and reaches out to shake Benny’s hand. “Nice to meet ya. What can I get y’all to drink? And then I’ll get outta your hair,” Benny says with a comfortable smile.

“Gin and tonic,” Cas answers.

“Michelob,” Dean tells Benny with a nod before settling back in his seat and turning his attention back to Cas. “Thought you were a wine guy.”

“I think I’ve had enough wine over the past few weeks. It’s nice to change things up every now and then.”

“Couldn’t agree more.” Out of his peripheral vision, he can see Dean watching him with a small smirk. Cas looks down and licks his lips (and wishes he used chapstick more often) before settling his arms on the bar and accepting the drink from the bartender. “What brings you to Chicago?”

“I’m from a small town not too far from here, Pontiac.” Cas looks over to him expectantly and Dean shrugs and sips his beer. “I went to the University of Chicago, and I did my residency in New Jersey, actually.”

“Jersey,” Dean parrots with a small laugh.

Cas nods and sips his drink. “Yes, but I didn’t like it out there, so I moved back, and here I am.”

He looks over to Dean, who is still focused on him with the same expression. “Here you are.”

Cas doesn’t break the eye contact, letting the heat rise in his chest again. Dean is ridiculously sexy, and for some reason, he seems to be interested in him. For an instant, Cas wonders if Dean’s okay with a no-strings hook-up policy, but pushes the doubt aside because nobody that looks as good as Dean is without experience in one-night-stands.

Dean wets his lips as he looks away and Cas has to tear his eyes away before Dean starts to think he’s some creep who stares for too long (and admittedly, he might be, but Dean doesn’t need to know that). “You’re not from Chicago, I’m guessing,” Cas suggests.

“You guessed right. I’m from Kansas originally, but I traveled a lot before settling here. I’ve only been here for a couple of months.”

“How are you liking it?”

Dean finally looks back over to him with a smirk and presses his beer to his lips. “Gets better every day.” Cas watches him as he drinks from his bottle and suppresses a sigh when Dean grins widely at him again. “You don’t talk much, do you?”

Cas flushes with embarrassment and sips from his drink. “Sorry, I really don’t do this. I’m not very good at…”

“Dating?” Dean offers.

“Social interaction.”

Dean laughs and it’s such a nice sound, it pulls a smile from Cas. “How’s that? You’re a hot doctor in a big city. I just don’t get why you’re unattached.”

Cas squints at Dean skeptically, who shrugs nonchalantly. “I suppose it’s because I just don’t have time to date.” He sighs and Dean nods before taking a drink from his beer. “Honestly, with my schedule, it would be nice to find someone interested in casual sex.” Dean chokes and snorts gracelessly into his beer and quickly covers his mouth with a napkin. Castiel figures he probably should’ve stopped talking sooner. “That was too much information, I apologize.”

Dean coughs and laughs while wiping his face. “Not at all, just caught me off guard a little bit.” Cas finishes off his drink and Dean motions for Benny to bring them another round. “But now I _really_ don’t see how you’re sitting here with me right now.” Cas tilts his head at Dean and Dean turns to sit facing him directly, casually leaning against the bar. He continues in a quieter voice, “‘Cause, uh… If I ever met a hot doctor who made house calls like that, well…” Dean raises his eyebrows and smirks at Cas pointedly as he grabs his beer bottle. “I wouldn’t exactly be lettin’ him go off with anyone else.”

Cas’ face breaks into a knowing grin. He doesn’t respond to the comment, but sips his gin and tonic before returning to the conversation. “I could say the same for…” Castiel squints at Dean to find the words. “Rugged, leather jacket-wearing EMTs.” Dean’s hearty laugh rocks him back and he puts a hand to his stomach. Cas bites down on a smile and watches Dean shake his head and drink from his new beer. “Why are you here with me?”

Dean sighs lightly. “Well, Cas, I don’t see any reason why I should lie to you.” Castiel gestures for him to feel free to talk. “I’m actually divorced.”

“Really?”

Dean nods, his lips pursed. “Yep. Got the ex-wife, a son, monthly alimony and child support bills, and scheduled visitation rights.” Dean sucks his teeth and stares at his beer with a humorless smile. “I’m the whole package.”

Cas watches his face as Dean drinks a little bit more from his beer. “How long ago?”

“Couple years. Divorced at 30, y’know, really livin’ the dream.” Dean sighs heavily again before looking back up at Cas with a smile. “But hey, we’ve all got our baggage, right?”

“True. And if it’s any consolation, whatever happened in your life, happened for a reason.” Dean huffs a laugh. “We’re sitting here now, aren’t we?” Dean looks back up at Cas and watches him. “It could be a lot worse.” Cas tosses his drink back and gulps down all the courage he can muster before looking back at Dean head on. “You could be going home alone tonight.”

Dean looks at him questioningly at first and Cas starts to wish he hadn’t said anything; he shouldn’t have some on so strong or waited for a better moment, but before his thoughts run too rampant, Dean’s expression breaks into a wide grin. “Amen to that.” Cas smiles in return and watches as Dean downs the rest of his beer and slaps some money on the counter to cover their bill. “You wanna get outta here?” Cas nods eagerly and Dean takes his hand as they stand up and make their way to the door. Dean quickly sends a thanks to the bartender as they leave. When they get outside the bar, Dean pulls Cas closer. “My place or yours?”

Cas grins. “I live three blocks away.”

“Then, lead the way, Doctor,” Dean returns in a low voice. Castiel fights back a moan, and takes Dean by the hand, hurriedly guiding him down the sidewalk.

At their pace, it only takes a few minutes before they’re at the doors to his apartment building and Castiel turns around. Dean puts his hands on Cas’ hips and brings them chest to chest. “Um, I…” Dean nods, letting him speak, but Cas is overwhelmed with anticipation and the smell of Dean’s cologne, and the feeling of his body on his, and _God_ , his lips are so distracting- “I should go ahead and tell you, it’s not the nicest of places. Um…” Dean doesn’t take his eyes off of Cas’ face and Cas tries to blink until he can manage to stop staring at Dean’s mouth. “And I didn’t… I didn’t expect company, so…”

“Cas, you could live in a barn and I’d still fuck you in it right now,” Dean breathes. Cas’ chest heaves with effort to restrain himself and he quickly turns around and punches in the code to get inside. Castiel and Dean get inside and into the empty elevator. As soon as the doors shut and Cas presses the button for his floor, Dean slams him against the wall with his whole body and crashes their lips together. Cas can’t hold back the loud moan he lets out against Dean’s lips. He kisses back eagerly, fists his hands in Dean’s jacket to bring him closer. “I want you so bad, Cas,” Dean whispers into Cas’ mouth. Cas nods fervently and tries not to rut against Dean’s groin too much.

The elevator stops and Cas can’t get out the door fast enough, Dean hot on his heels. Cas pulls out his key and quickly opens the door. In one fluid movement, he spins around to grab Dean by the collar and push him inside and kick the door shut behind him. He pushes Dean against the wall and connects their lips again. He makes quick work of pushing Dean’s leather jacket off and runs his hands over Dean’s thick shoulders and biceps and squeezes appreciatively. Dean’s fingers find his shirt buttons, but Cas is impatient and swats his hands away. Dean lets out a heavy breath of a chuckle and moves his mouth to Cas’ neck while Cas deftly works his shirt buttons undone and Dean helps shuck it all the way off. “You’re good with your hands.”

“I’m a surgeon, Dean,” Cas reminds him breathlessly. Dean sucks marks into his neck while letting his hands roam around Cas’ chest and abdomen and around to his back. “ _God_.”

“Bedroom?” Dean murmurs into his skin.

Cas shakes his head and brings Dean’s face between his hands and reconnects their lips deeply. “Couch is closer.” Cas tugs on Dean further into the apartment until they reach the couch. “Shirt,” he directs softly. Dean immediately takes his henley off and Cas starts unbuttoning his pants.

With only a quick look around, Dean smiles. “You’ve got a nice apartment.”

Cas pulls down his jeans and boxers in one movement and steps out of them quickly and kisses Dean again. Dean lowers him until he’s sitting on the couch before kissing his neck again. “Thanks, I decorated myself,” he replies in a low voice.

He can feel Dean smile against his neck as he begins to kiss down his clavicle. “You really have an eye for interior decorating-”

Cas manages to huff out a laugh and roll his eyes. “Focus, Dean.”

Dean chuckles and kisses Cas’ lips again. “You’re a control freak,” he murmurs with a smile.

“I’m well aware of that, now _please_ just touch me.”

Dean kisses him deeper and slots their groins together pointedly, earning a soft moan from Cas. He kisses and rocks against Cas until Cas is breathless and grasping at Dean’s arms and then pulls back. “Since you said please.” Dean grins against his lips for a few more beats before moving down and presses quick kisses and sucks small marks down the length of Cas’ abdomen.

All at once, he takes Cas’ leaking cock into his mouth and sucks him down. Cas chokes off a whine and fists his hands in Dean’s hair. “Oh _fuck_ ,” he groans pathetically. Dean’s lips are just as amazing on his cock as they were on his body, and Dean definitely knows what he’s doing. He’s got Cas writhing, panting, and chanting his name in no time. He pulls off and gently strokes Cas’ dick as he mouths over his balls. “Oh my God.”

“Bottom?” Dean asks. Cas only opens his eyes long enough to look down at Dean for a second before he rolls his eyes back again because _fuck_ , it’s too much.

Cas nods and spreads his legs wider for Dean. “Yes, whatever, just do something.” Dean laughs again and the breath against his sweat-slicked skin makes him shudder. Dean moves both of his hands to the underside of Cas’ thighs and pushes to spread his legs wider and press his knees towards his chest. Cas looks down to see Dean kissing down his thighs and running his hands along them appreciatively, grabbing hold of the meatier parts of his thighs and squeezing every now and then. Dean moves his mouth below Cas’ perineum and licks one teasing stripe over Cas’ hole while making direct eye contact with Cas. “ _Fuck me_ ,” Cas groans as his head falls back.

Cas moves his hands to the back of his knees to keep them spread for Dean. “That’s the idea, baby,” Dean mumbles into his skin, sending more shivers down his spine. Dean licks and mouths over his ass confidently, and Cas is so far gone, he can barely think anymore. Dean spends a while eating Cas out while stroking his cock with one hand, getting Cas panting and begging for something- _anything_.

For a second, Cas wonders why Dean’s ex-wife wanted a divorce because really, he would put up with a lot if he had a husband with a mouth like Dean’s. He stops mid-thought when he feels a wet finger pressing against his hole. “ _God_ , Dean, please!” Dean responds by thrusting his finger in straight to the hilt, forcing a whine from the back of Cas’ throat. Cas pushes back on his hand impatiently and Dean rewards him by fucking his finger into him quickly, finding his prostate on every fourth thrust. “ _Fuck yes!_ Oh my God!” After a while of practically screaming for more, Dean spits and inserts another finger, driving it home deep inside Castiel. “ _Dean!_ ”

“God, you’re so perfect, Cas,” Dean groans against Cas’ thigh. He sucks a mark on Cas’ thigh before biting down on it and nursing it with his tongue, eliciting helpless moans from Cas. “You sound so fucking perfect.”

“Yes- _oh my God_ \- fuck me now. I need it- _need_ -!” (It’s probably stupid of Cas to be so impatient, but he hasn’t had sex in a long time, and he needs this _now_.) Dean nods hurriedly and pulls his fingers out of Cas and stands up. Cas surges forward and he quickly undoes Dean’s jeans. Dean barely has time to pull out a condom and small packet of lube from his back pocket before Cas shucks them down to his ankles. Instantly, Cas falls to his knees in front of Dean and kisses over his hipbones. “I need you to fuck me hard, Dean,” he growls against the underside of Dean’s cock as he strokes his length. Cas looks up at Dean’s focused face and kisses the tip of his cock. He feels Dean shudder.

Dean nods in wordless response and Cas swallows him down. “ _Shit_ ,” Dean hisses in response. The salty taste of Dean on his tongue sparks a flame in his gut and urges him on; Cas dips his head faster, swirls his tongue more and more on every upward pull until Dean’s knees are practically buckling. “C-Cas, _fuck_ , Jesus Christ,” Dean breathes. He reaches a hand to fist in the top of Castiel’s hair and pulls back. “If you want me to fuck you, you’ve gotta stop that,” he says softly.

Cas nods understandingly and kneels over, resting his arms on the backside of the couch. Dean reaches over to him and grabs his ass appreciatively, squeezing and running his hands over his skin and down his thighs. He pulls back a little before slapping him on the thickest part of his ass, and Cas lets out a helpless whimper, burying his face in the cushion. “You like that?” Cas nods even if Dean can’t tell, but he pushes back his hips in invitation. Dean runs both hands down the curve of his ass and slaps the other cheek before grabbing it and squeezing. Cas lets out a breathy moan and squeezes his eyes shut, wiggling his hips in the hopes of Dean doing _something_. He needs it. He feels Dean’s tongue over his hole again, and lets out a choked off scream. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous.”

“For the love of God, _please fuck me_ , Dean.” Dean slides three fingers inside him and Cas bites down on his wrist to suppress a whine. He hears Dean tear open foil and turns around enough to watch as Dean expertly rolls a condom on himself with one hand, the other still working Cas open. Dean picks up the lube packet and squeezes it onto his shaft and looks up to Cas’ face and winks at him as he strokes himself. “Oh my God,” Cas groans quietly, rolling his eyes back. He hears Dean chuckle again and suddenly his fingers are gone.

He doesn’t have long to miss him because less than a second later, he feels Dean’s cock nudging against his hole insistently. Cas pushes his hips back in a silent beg. Dean uses one hand to hold his cock still and grabs onto Castiel’s ass with the other hand and gently pushes in. “Oh, fuck,” Dean groans as he slides in all the way. “Holy _shit_.”

Castiel lets out a long, wordless groan, beyond words at this point. He’s just so impatient, when Dean is fully sheathed inside him and stops moving, Cas pushes back insistently. Still, Dean holds. Cas groans out of frustration and pushes back more, bouncing forward and pushing back again. “Are you going to fuck me?” Dean huffs a laugh, but still the bastard just doesn’t move. Castiel pushes back harder, bouncing almost feverishly on Dean’s cock, but it’s just not enough. “Dean, I swear to God, if you don’t fuck me…”

Dean leans forward and kisses the back of Castiel’s neck softly. His hands run up Cas’ flank, over his arms and down his abdomen. “What are you gonna do?” Dean gives his hips a deep roll into Cas’ and holds him still. “Huh?”

Cas pushes his ass back quickly and feverishly, moaning breathlessly as he does so until Dean is groaning into the skin of his back. Dean’s grip softens and Cas leans forward to get Dean’s cock to slip out. He manages to turn around and grab Dean’s neck and pulls him down and kisses him deeply, all teeth and tongue. “Lay down,” he growls.

Dean does as Cas says and lays down flat on his back on the couch. Cas moves up to straddle his waist and holds Dean’s cock still as he seats himself down on his lap. “Holy shit, Cas,” Dean breathes, running a hand over his hair. Cas lowers himself all the way down and rolls his hips down slowly to really take in all of Dean’s length. Dean lets out a long breath and moves his hands up Cas’ thighs, squeezing momentarily, up his hips and explores his abdomen. Cas places his hands on Dean’s pecs for support and lifts himself up before falling back down. “Jesus fucking Christ.”

Cas picks up momentum, lifting and falling on Dean’s lap quicker and quicker. He adds rolls to every downward fall, driving himself crazy with the sensation. Cas’ hips pick up speed until he’s bouncing on Dean’s lap, moaning and breathing curses under his breath the whole time. He squeezes his eyes shut and his head falls back, Dean’s hands coming to his hips and squeezing while Cas bounces up and down mercilessly. “Fuck! _Yes- yes- fuck me_ \- God,” Cas chants loudly, fingers digging into Dean’s chest and arms as they both desperately try to hold on.

Cas bounces faster and faster until they’re both beyond words, just breathless groans from Dean and broken screams falling from Cas’ lips. With a loud cry, Cas stops bouncing and rolls his hips down farther and farther. “Holy fucking shit, oh my God- _oh my God_ ,” Dean whispers, watching Cas and squeezing his hips tighter. “So goddamn perfect.” Dean reaches one hand up to Cas’ neck and pulls him down so their chests are flush together and kisses him deeply. Cas moans into the kiss and wraps his arms under Dean’s and holds onto his shoulders as he continues to rock his hips back and forth.

Dean’s knees come up and give him a better angle for pushing back, which he does so. Without breaking their kiss, Cas rolls back on Dean’s cock enthusiastically and moans into his mouth. “ _Uhn_ , God-!” Dean wraps his arms around Cas’ back and grips him tighter and begins to meet each of his thrusts forcefully. Cas gasps at each one, his mouth falling open. Cas buries his face in Dean’s neck as Dean propels his cock into Cas’ ass quickly. “Oh my _God, fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck!_ Dean-!” Cas cries against Dean’s skin. He digs his nails into the meat of Dean’s shoulders and bites down on his skin. “Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop- _fuck!_ ” Dean stops just long enough to squirm and lift his leg up just enough to hit that right angle inside of Cas. Resuming his merciless pace, he pistons into Cas’ prostate on every thrust. “ _D-D-D-Dea-ean!_ Uhn, f- _fuck_ -!”

The sounds of Dean’s deep groans and heavy breaths in his ear, the sounds of their sweaty bodies slapping together, and getting fucked so _perfectly_ is enough to send Cas crashing over the edge without warning and without touching his cock. Cas comes hard with Dean’s name on his tongue and bites down on Dean’s collarbone. “Oh, God, Cas- _fuck_ \- Cas!” With a few more quick thrusts, Dean comes with a small choked-off cry and buries his cock deep inside of Castiel. “Oh my God,” he breathes heavily.

Cas leans back and brings their lips together softly, both of their chests heaving. Dean sighs softly into their kiss and twines his fingers in Castiel’s sweaty hair. Dean laughs softly against his lips. “What?” Cas asks with a grin.

Dean lets his head fall back and looks up at Cas and pushes his hair back. “Nothing, just… Oh my _God_.” Cas grins so hard and lets out a small laugh before tucking his face back into Dean’s neck. Dean rubs a hand up Cas’ back gently. Still laughing, Dean mumbles, “Where did that come from?”

Cas laughs and sits up high enough so Dean’s softening cock slips out and he lays down, pressed into Dean’s side. “What do you mean?”

Dean wraps his arm around Cas’ shoulder and grazes his fingers across his skin languidly. “Just… Don’t take this the wrong way, okay?” Cas sits up on his elbows to look Dean in the eyes. “You’re kinda uptight.”

Cas scoffs. “I am not uptight.” Dean raises his eyebrows pointedly. “Am I?”

“I sure as hell thought so- up until _that_ happened.”

Cas lays back down and rests his head between Dean’s chin and his chest, letting an arm fall over his waist. “It’s been awhile,” he admits sheepishly.

Dean tilts his head down and presses a kiss to the top of Cas’ head. “Me too.” Dean’s chest rises and falls with a sigh under Cas’ cheek. “Too damn long.”

Cas smiles and kisses Dean’s chest before moving enough to press kisses up his neck and onto his cheek before connecting their lips softly. “Mm, well, if you’re interested in a next time, I can assure you it’ll be even better,” he murmurs against Dean’s lips. He smiles and bites down playfully on Dean’s bottom lip.

Dean chuckles and wraps both arms around Cas’ waist and kisses him deeper. “Oh, I’m interested. How about-” Dean sighs into an especially soft kiss. “Mm, how about in the morning?”

Cas rolls back on top of Dean and kisses down his chest. “You want to stay the night?” Dean shrugs nonchalantly. “What time is it?”

Dean gestures towards his discarded jeans next to the couch. “Check my phone.”

Cas leans over enough to pull out Dean’s phone from his pocket and checks the time. Cas groans when he realizes it’s already midnight. He puts the phone back down and slumps on top of Dean. “I have to be at work in six hours,” he grumbles.

Dean rubs a hand up and down Castiel’s spine softly. “Want me to get out of your hair?”

Castiel yawns nuzzles his face into Dean’s chest. “You can stay the night if you wish,” he replies quietly. Dean nods and yawns with him. “I need to take a shower.”

“Me too.” Dean kisses the top of his head and sits up with a groan, a few stiff bones in his vertebrae cracking as he does so. “Come on, let’s take a shower before I pass out.”

As it turns out, Castiel enjoys having Dean spend the night, which he didn’t imagine he would. Cas likes his solitude, likes having his own space, and living his life moving independently; but then there’s this strong, affectionate guy who massages shampoo into his scalp and washes his back in the shower while humming softly, and Cas reconsiders his no-strings policy. Dean’s arms are nice and warm, and if Cas’ work schedule wasn’t so hard to work around, he could get used to being held in them. Cas’ bed fits them perfectly, and Dean automatically lays on the opposite side of the bed, and it all fits a little too naturally. Cas fits a little too well with his back pressed into Dean’s chest while they sleep, but for the life of him, he can’t find it in him to care. That night, he sleeps better than he has in months.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Cas is woken up as he usually is- to the blaring sound of his alarm clock. And as usual, the sun isn't up yet, and the room is freezing; the only thing different about this morning is that there’s a man in his bed. Cas sits up on his elbows and squints through the darkness to admire the curves of Dean’s back and smiles to himself. Cas sits upright and yawns, rubbing his eyes and smacking his lips. Dean tosses in his sleep a little, and is woken up by Cas stretching his back lightly. Dean rolls over on his side to face him and smiles sleepily. “G’mornin’.”

Cas smiles down at him but doesn't respond. It's way too early to speak; he doesn't usually talk to anyone until after his third cup of coffee. Dean reaches an arm over rubs up Cas’ back. Cas yawns again and rubs his face. “Do you work today?” He asks quietly.

Dean shakes his head ‘no’ and nuzzles his face into the pillow. Cas stands up and takes out a pair of scrubs from his top drawer and slides into them. “Mm, you're cute,” Dean grumbles with a grin.

Cas huffs a small laugh and rubs Dean’s head briefly while passing him on the way out of the bedroom. The coffee pot is already full and ready for him when he reaches the kitchen, and he pours a cup into his morning mug. Following his same morning routine, he sits outside on his tiny balcony and breathes in the morning air while he drinks his coffee. After that, he goes inside, brushes his teeth, gives himself a general once-over in the mirror (deciding the faint hickeys on his neck can go undetected) and pours the rest of the coffee into a travel mug.

He's about to leave when he remembers the very important fact that there's a man still sleeping in his bed. He debates whether or not to wake him, and kick him out or let him sleep. He barely knows the man, but he doesn't think Dean would be the kind to steal (not like Cas has much of anything to steal, anyways; he runs on granola, wine and coffee, and only has a few expensive items in his apartment, but still). He goes into the bedroom and places a gentle hand on Dean’s shoulder. “I'm leaving for work.”

Dean yawns and rolls over to face him. “Need me to go?”

Cas kneels beside the bed and places a small kiss on Dean’s bare shoulder. “You can sleep in a while, if you wish. Just remember to lock the door behind you.”

Dean closes his eyes again. “You sure?”

“Of course.” Cas kisses his shoulder again softly. “I'll see you around.” He hears Dean huff a laugh before rolling back over and going back to sleep.

Cas goes to work feeling better than he has in way too long (probably due to the fact that he got laid for the first time in over two years). Occasionally his mind drifts off to wondering if Dean’s still at his apartment, if he’s going through Cas’ things, or watching his television (maybe jerking off in his bathroom, or writhing on his bed-) and he has to shake the thought away before it gets out of hand. His breezy demeanor doesn’t go completely unnoticed, a few of his friends and patients asking what’s got him so chipper, which he evades nonchalantly, and he flows through his shift with ease.

When he gets home, Dean isn’t there, which doesn’t surprise Castiel. Dean has a life, and it would’ve been weird if he _had_ still been there 14 hours later. So Cas takes a shower and settles on the ground next to the coffee table to catch up on paperwork when he sees a yellow post-it note sticking to the table. On the post-it is a phone number followed by, “ _I'll see you around._ ”

Cas smiles at the note and takes out his phone to program the number into his contacts. He inwardly debates whether he should text or call, if he should wait or go ahead and contact Dean soon; Cas is too old for this stuff. He just puts his phone aside and decides to figure it out later. A couple of hours pass and Cas falls asleep with his head on the coffee table.

Cas goes back to his normal routine after that, getting too swept up with work find time to get up with Dean. This is exactly the reason why Cas figures he's too busy to date; he can't even find time to text someone at a normal hour. When he checks his schedule a week and a half later, he notices he actually has two days off for the first time in months- he's not even on-call or anything- but it's another week away. Almost immediately, he pulls out his phone and types out a text message for Dean.

_“Do you want to come over tonight?”_

He doesn't have time to think for a second that it might be slightly abrupt before he's being paged for a surgical consult. The consult turns into a biopsy, and he quickly loses track of time again. Castiel doesn't check his phone again until it's almost time for his shift to end.

_New Message: Dean: “Yknow most people start with a hello”_

Cas smiles to himself and types out a response. _“Hello. Do you want to come over tonight?”_

_New Message: Dean: “That depends.”_ Cas furrows his brow and changes out of his scrubs while waiting for a follow-up. _“Is this Cas?”_

Cas huffs a sigh of relief, remembering Dean didn't even have his number to begin with. He types out a yes and heads back to his apartment. On the way there, his phone goes off again.

_New Message: Dean: “Give me 10”_

Cas gets to the apartment first and makes half an effort to tidy up his mess (and really, he's going to have to try to not be so messy, but it's just so easy to toss things aside) before he hears a light knocking on the door. Cas goes to the door and opens it, and Dean’s leaning against the door frame in his paramedic’s uniform.

“I was starting to think you weren't gonna call me,” Dean says with a small smile as he walks into the apartment. “That, or you didn't find my note.”

Cas sighs and shuts the door behind him. “I know. I'm sorry.”

“So, what? Trying to play hard to get?” Dean asks as he hops up onto the counter.

Cas feels a twinge guilt until he looks up to see Dean grinning at him. “No, nothing like that. Work is just… All of the same.”

“I’m just givin’ you a hard time,” Dean says with a quick wink. “How’s your wine collection looking?” Cas moves to his wine hutch and examines his options. He holds up two bottles: one Chianti and the other Cabernet. Dean hums thoughtfully. “Surprise me.”

Cas puts the white wine back and takes out two glasses for them, uncorks the bottle and pours the glasses. He walks back over to the counter beside Dean and hands him a glass before leaning back against the counter. He takes a sip and watches Dean taste his. “Well?”

Dean hums and takes another small sip before sniffing the wine. “I taste a hint of…” Dean takes another sip and squints at Cas with a small smile. “Just a hint of grape.”

Cas fights back a smile and presses his lips to the rim of his glass as Dean chuckles at his own joke. Cas leans back and sips his wine quietly. He looks at Dean, and as nice as he looks in the uniform, it couldn't be that comfortable to hang around in. “If you're uncomfortable, I can find you something to change into.”

Dean grins down at him. “Jeez, Cas, let a guy finish his first glass of wine before you try to get him out of his clothes.” Cas rolls his eyes lightheartedly. “I'm okay for now.”

Cas nods understandingly. “Tell me more about yourself.”

“So this is a date now?” Dean asks with raised eyebrows.

Cas sighs and looks at him pointedly. “Are you going to have a response for everything I say?” Dean smiles, triumphant at getting a rise out of Cas, and sips his wine with a shrug. “If a label is absolutely necessary and you would also agree, then yes, I would consider this a date. My issue with _‘dating’_ someone is when someone expects too much out of me, and is disappointed when I can't give it to them. My work schedule really does occupy the majority of my time.”

Dean nods quietly at first. “People are disappointed that you can't give it to them? I think you could give it to me real good.”

Castiel can't hold back the laugh that bubbles up inside him, and places his face in his hands. “Oh my God,” he groans. “You’re in a good mood. I take it work was good today?”

Dean shrugs and sips his wine. “Work was work, but I’m here now, and I think that’s pretty cool.”

“I think you’re only saying that because you think it’ll get you laid,” Cas notes from behind his wine glass.

“Are you saying that I’m _not_ going to get laid?” Cas shrugs nonchalantly. Dean purses his lips. “That’s fine with me.” Dean wraps his arm around Cas’ shoulder comfortably. “We can just cuddle all night.”

Cas shakes his head. “You’re incredibly cheesy.”

“I like to think that I’m just incredibly charming,” Dean says before tipping his cup back and finishing his wine. “Okay, what do you wanna know?”

“Anything, I suppose.” Cas finishes his wine and lifts his glass as a gesture for a refill, and Dean hands his cup over. “Your family, how you ended up as an EMT… Anything.”

Cas walks over to the wine hutch and Dean hops down from the counter. “Let’s see,” Dean sighs as he flops down onto the couch. “Well, I was raised in Kansas. Parents are as happy as any average married couple are.” Cas situates himself on the couch next to Dean and hands him his newly refilled glass. They both turn to face each other on the couch and Dean brings one hand to rest on the backside of the couch. “I have a younger brother, Sammy. He’s, uh… He’s a good kid.” Dean chuckles and looks into his cup. “I say kid, but he’s in his 30s now.” Dean sighs. “God, I’m getting old.”

Cas smiles softly and listens to Dean’s story. “We’re not that old.”

“We’re not getting any younger,” Dean says with a shrug and takes a sip from his cup before resting his head on his free hand and turning his attention back to Cas. Cas nods in agreement. “But yeah, Sam’s a great guy. He went to Stanford to be a lawyer, but he had a change of heart a few years into grad school, and now he’s working on a historical degree.” Dean shakes his head almost in disbelief. “Such a geek,” he murmurs. “Anyways, he’s been married to a really awesome girl for almost ten years now with a couple'a kids of his own. It, uh… I hate feeling so bitter, but it’s kinda messed up that he got married _way_ too young according to our parents, and still… Y’know, he got married first, and his marriage is the one that’s still going strong.”

Cas tilts his head at Dean sympathetically even though Dean’s staring into his glass and nodding to himself. “Sometimes it fits,” he says simply.

Dean sighs and lifts his face back up to meet Cas’. Dean gives him a half-smile. “Yeah. Sometimes it fits.” Dean holds his gaze on Cas’ face and Cas moves one of his hands to let his fingers gently graze Dean’s knee closest to him. “Alright, that’s enough over-sharing from me. Your turn.”

“Well, I grew up like I’m sure you would expect. Uptight conservative parents, suburbs, plenty of siblings.” Dean hums and peers at him carefully. Castiel squints. “Religious.”

Dean hisses. “Mm, that’s rough.”

Cas bites the inside of his cheek. “It wasn’t really so terrible. They have five children who are all relatively successful- except the brother closest to my age, Gabriel, who is… He’s independent.”

“Independent,” Dean parrots with an amused smile playing at his lips.

“Yes. So, my parents couldn’t complain too much. Both of them are gone now; they died more than a few years ago. I don’t keep in close contact with any of them. We’re all too busy with our own lives to really be apart of each other’s.”

“Wow… What’s that like?” Cas tilts his head at Dean for him to elaborate. “I’m just really close with my family, I couldn’t really imagine not having them there.”

“Um… It’s…” Cas sighs thoughtfully and takes a sip of his wine. “Spacious.” Dean lets out a laugh and leans over, his arms propped up against his thighs. “They don’t bother me about the way I live my life, so I can’t complain.”

Cas takes another drink of his wine and Dean watches him closely. “Why’d you become a doctor?”

“At first, I thought it was because it was expected of me. Becoming a doctor seemed respectful enough, but… I love it. I could’ve easily continued with medicine and focused on a different specialty, but neuroscience is _fascinating_. I’ve been obsessed with the human brain and all of its functions for a long time. I can honestly say that my job is never boring, and I believe that’s very important.” Dean smiles appreciatively and drinks from his cup. “Why did you decide to become a paramedic?”

“When I was a kid I wanted to be a superhero. Y’know, I thought I could _be_ Batman if I tried hard enough.” Cas grins at the image of a young Dean pretending to fight crime. “So, I had a few routes I could take. Didn’t go with police because cops are crooked, didn’t go with fireman because it just seemed like a really sweaty job. Decided to be an EMT because my ass looks great in these pants.”

Castiel laughs genuinely and rubs a finger over the bridge of his nose. “Okay, I can’t disagree with you on that.”

“Not without being a liar, anyways. I remember a month or two ago, you had your eyes practically glued to my ass.”

Cas finishes his cup of wine and scoffs. “No, I didn’t!”

“ _Yeah_ , you did. You know you wanted a piece of this,” Dean teases with a big grin.

“If I recall correctly, I _did_ get a ‘piece of that’,” Cas reminds as he sets down his cup.

Dean chuckles. “Baby, you barely caught a crumb.” Cas looks at him skeptically. Dean downs the rest of his wine and sets the cup aside as he stands up. Dean moves and stands facing Cas with his legs on either sides of Cas’ knees. Dean slowly moves his hands to the top of his shirt and starts to unbutton it. Cas licks his lips and settles back in his seat comfortably, watching Dean with amusement. Dean watches his own fingers move _painfully_ slowly across each button one-by-one until he reaches the middle and he looks over to Cas, who is taking in all of it. “Are you objectifying me, Cas?”

Dean unbuttons three more buttons and Cas’ breath hitches in his chest because he can see the top of Dean’s stomach; he’s got freckles on his skin that Cas didn’t notice their first time. “I’m thinking…” Dean’s fingers linger at one of the last buttons as he waits for him to answer. “I’m thinking that you’re moving way too slowly.”

Dean chuckles to himself and stands up straighter as he finally undoes the last two buttons, but he leaves the shirt on. He starts running his hands over the top of his pants at his hips. “You wanna know something?” Cas nods, still watching Dean’s hands move. “I worked as a stripper for two summers when I was 19 and 20.”

Cas lets out a shaky laugh. “Of course you did,” he mumbles.

Dean moves so he’s on his knees on the couch, straddling Cas’ lap without letting their bodies touch. He moves his hands to hold onto his shirt as he starts to circle his hips. Cas moves his hands just enough to touch Dean’s knees and Dean sticks up a finger warningly. “No touching the dancers.” Cas lets out a deep sigh, but moves his hands away anyways. He looks up at Dean’s face and watches his lips. Dean watches his face and shucks off his shirt, letting it fall to the ground behind him. Dean’s hips continue circling as he moves his torso in the counter-direction. Dean keeps his hooded eyes unwavering from Cas’ and licks his lips slowly. Cas fights back a soft moan and lets his eyes fall to Dean’s body, getting dizzy with the dancing. Dean moves his hands to his belt and starts toying with the buckle.

“You’re a tease,” Cas mutters under his breath.

“Teases don’t put out,” Dean reminds him. Castiel presses his lips together and shakes his head. Dean leans down a little closer, his body moving quicker and more thoroughly; his lips are less than a few inches away from Cas’ and Cas is pulled to them like a magnet. Cas stares at Dean’s mouth, watches the way Dean’s tongue lightly touches the back of his front teeth briefly. “But I think you can go a few minutes without touching since it took you a week to call me.”

Castiel moans softly, restraining his desire to surge forward and capture Dean’s lips with his. “I’m sorry.” Dean shakes his head softly and rolls his body harder, groin only missing Cas’ stomach by less than an inch. “Please. I’m-”

Dean shushes him and brings his lips less than an inch from Cas’. The tension between them made Castiel shake slightly, taking all of his effort not to move. “Are you saying,” Dean whispers, and Cas can _almost_ feel his lips on his as they move. “-that you’ll call me?”

Cas swallows thickly. “Yes, I’ll- I’ll call you, I’ll text you every day- please,” he whispers in return.

Dean grins and somehow manages to move even closer, still without any parts of their bodies touching. “And will you…” He lets his bottom lip ever so gently graze against Cas’ upper lip. “Take me into the bedroom and fuck me?”

Cas’ breath gets caught in his chest, and he’s so hard, he’s almost afraid he might actually hurt himself. “Yes, Dean, _please_.” Dean sucks in a slight breath and Cas’ eyes slip almost shut because he feels like Dean’s about to kiss him, but suddenly, Dean’s pulling back and he’s off the couch completely. Cas feels like he just got hit by a freight train. “Wh-”

Cas sits up and watches as Dean walks around the corner and goes into the bedroom. Confused and not entirely sure if he’s allowed to move yet, Cas sits there, waiting. “Dude, are you gonna come in here and fuck me, or what?” Dean calls from the other room.

Cas hurriedly gets into the bedroom and Dean immediately takes Cas’ face between his hands and brings their lips together. Cas moans into the kiss, so grateful to finally break the tension (even if it probably was only for a few minutes), and brings his hands to Dean’s sides and pulls them flush together. Dean deepens the kiss and brings his hands to them hem of Cas’ shirt and separates them just long enough to lift it off and toss it aside. Dean reaches down to unbuckle his belt and unbutton his pants.

Immediately dropping to his knees, Cas tugs Dean’s pants and boxer briefs down together. Kissing over Dean’s happy trail and his hipbones sloppily, he holds onto the back of Dean’s thighs and let his hands roam up to Dean’s ass (which is really fucking perfect, by the way). He takes Dean’s cock into his mouth eagerly and sucks hard. “ _Fuck,_ ” Dean groans, swaying back a little before fisting his hands in Cas’ hair. Cas works his mouth faster, using one hand to gently roll Dean’s balls rhythmically, and Dean’s grasp in his hair tightens. Cas moans at the sensation and Dean groans louder, hips bucking into Cas’ mouth. “Oh my God, _oh_ , f- _fuck_ ,” Dean pants, thrusting his hips shallowly into Cas’ mouth and getting even deeper. Cas swallows around his length and Dean chokes off a whine, tugging him by the hair until he’s off his cock.

He pulls Cas to his feet and steps out of his pants before pushing Cas onto the bed. Cas scrambles farther onto the bed and watches Dean who is still standing. “Condoms and lube?”

“Bedside table.” Dean nods quickly, opens the drawer, takes out what he needs and then he’s straddling Cas’ lap and kissing him again. He rolls their bodies together in long, thorough movements and Cas groans into the kiss. Dean presses kisses to the sides of his lips, down over his jaw and bites down on his neck. “ _Christ_ ,” Cas breathes. Dean sucks faint marks down the sides of Cas’ neck and over his chest as his hands find their way to Cas’ pants. Dean unbuttons them and reaches a hand in and cups his dick over the fabric of his boxers. Cas rolls into the sensation. “Please.”

Dean groans softly. “God, I love when you say that.” He sits up and yanks Cas’ pants and boxers down and throws them across the room. He snaps the bottle of lube open and squeezes some on his fingers before kissing Cas’ lips again. “Anyone ever told you that?” Dean murmurs against his lips. Cas feels Dean straddle one of his legs and hears him let out a shaky breath against his mouth; Dean’s fingering himself open. “You make the word ‘please’ sound like the best thing in the world.”

Dean moves his kisses back down Cas’ body and toys with one of Cas’ nipples between his lips. “Hurry up,” Cas groans, fingers carding through the short hair on the back of Dean’s head. Dean looks up at him and licks down the middle of his abdomen, over his belly-button, and kisses the spot right under his happy trail. He raises an eyebrow expectantly and Cas rolls his eyes. “ _Please_ , Dean. Jesus Christ, you-” The words get cut off by Dean wrapping his lips around Cas’ cock and swirling his tongue around the head fast enough to make him dizzy.

He opens his eyes again and can’t decide if he wants to watch Dean fuck himself on his fingers ( _God_ , he’s already got two in) or watch Dean’s beautiful, pink lips working on his dick. Cas bites down on his own whimpers and writhes under Dean’s body, already so close. Dean has a way about him that just makes Cas’ nerves feel electrified with every touch, and it’s _fucking_ amazing. Dean works his mouth faster and looks up to watch Cas’ face as he does so, and Cas couldn’t look away if he wanted to (he doesn’t). “Oh my God, Dean, fucking Christ,” he pants desperately, holding onto Dean’s shoulders for dear life.

Dean pulls his mouth off of Cas’ cock and presses kisses to his thighs. “I want to fuck you tonight, too,” he murmurs against Cas’ skin. He looks up and meets Castiel’s eyes again. “You want that?”

Castiel nods fervently, and Dean pulls the fingers out of himself and squeezes more lube on them before thrusting two inside Cas right away. Cas’ back arches off the bed. “ _Oh my God-!_ Fuck, Dean!” Cas covers his face with his hands and muffles his chanted profanities. Dean kisses up his abdomen affectionately and up his neck, working his fingers somehow roughly and carefully at the same time. He adds a third finger and Cas is grasping at Dean desperately, writhing and panting under him and trying to hold on. “Dean-Dean-Dean- _uhn, fuck- yes!_ ”

Dean pulls out his fingers and Cas watches him tear open a condom using his teeth and his dry hand. He spits out the tin foil and quickly rolls the condom on Cas’ dick. After slicking Cas’ cock with lube, he straddles Cas’ lap and kisses him deeply. Cas squeezes Dean’s sides and sits up straight. Dean slowly lowers himself on Cas’ dick and groans softly into his mouth. He cards his fingers through the back of Castiel’s hair and scratches his scalp gently before grabbing on as he begins bouncing. “Mm, _fuck_ , Cas, you feel so good,” he whispers into Cas’ ear.

Cas squeezes his eyes shut and buries his face in Dean’s bouncing chest, wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist and clawing down his back. Dean rolls his hips down on Cas’ lap thoroughly and rides him like a dance. Cas lets out a deep moan and sucks a mark on Dean’s pec before biting down. Dean pulls his hair harder as he picks up more speed with his hips and tugs Cas’ head back to seal their lips together again. Cas is overwhelmed by everything; the sharp sensations in his scalp, the feeling of Dean riding him like he was born for it, and the taste of Dean on his tongue. “Fuck, Dean, I’m- _uhn, my God_ ,” Cas moans into Dean’s mouth when Dean slams down on him harder.

Dean pushes Cas onto his back and pins his hands with his own. Dean rolls his hips and his tongue on Cas’ at the same pace and direction, and Cas sighs into it. Dean kisses over his jaw and down to his neck, rolling his hips on Cas languidly. “You close?” Cas nods and Dean kisses him again briefly. “Want me to fuck you?”

“ _Yes_ ,” he groans. He adds “please” before Dean can even ask. Dean chuckles and unseats himself from Cas’ lap and moves one hand to pick up another condom he took out. Cas takes the time to catch his breath and use his free hand to brush his sweat-covered hair back. As Dean rolls the condom on himself, Cas roams his hands up and down Dean’s torso affectionately. “You’re amazing,” he says.

Dean grins at him and leans back over to kiss him. Dean slicks himself with lube and takes the condom off of Cas’ cock simultaneously. He leans back and taps Cas’ legs so they spread. Dean wraps his hands around the back of Cas’ thighs and lifts him slightly onto his lap, Cas’ legs being pushed up towards his chest. Dean slowly sinks into him with a long groan. Once fully sheathed, Dean drapes himself forward and kisses up Cas’ stomach and up over his ribcage. He pulls his hips back and pushes them back in, both of the men breathing heavily with the movement. Dean moves his body up higher until they’re face to face and he thrusts into Cas again, punctuating the push with a gentle bite to Castiel’s bottom lip. Dean grazes his hands up Cas’ flank, under his arms and down to his hands. Their fingers interlock and Dean presses them back into the bed above Cas’ head.

Dean’s hips pick up speed, and Cas locks his feet behind Dean’s back. “Fuck me,” Cas whispers, his eyes slotted and locked onto Dean’s. Dean seals their lips together and fucks into Cas harder, each thrust being punctuated with a full roll of his hips. He pulls out until just the tip of his cock is still inside Cas before pushing back in roughly and fucking him quickly. “ _Dean!_ Yes, yeah, _fuck!_ ” Dean’s hands squeeze his tightly as he fucks him practically through the mattress, and Cas is so close, he might come untouched like he did last time. Dean growls in his ear and wiggles his hips just right and starts pistoning into Castiel’s prostate, making him cry out.

“I’m so fucking close, Cas,” Dean breathes against his neck. He lets go of one of Cas’ hands in a silent gesture and moves his hand to under Cas’ hip, lifting one of his legs higher. Cas moves his own free hand down to fist quickly over his cock. “ _Yeah,_ yeah, holy shit, Cas.”

Dean thrusts into him feverishly and Cas meets each movement as much as he can under Dean’s weight. Dean grunts and grazes his teeth on Cas’ jaw. One last drive right into Cas’ prostate sends Cas toppling over the edge. “ _Dean_ -!” Cas cries out and strokes himself through his orgasm as Dean continues to plow into him.

It only takes Dean another minute of relentless thrusting before he’s pushing into Cas hard and stilling inside him. “Holy shit,” he breathes shakily against Cas’ neck. Cas pants breathlessly under him. “Jesus Christ.” Dean shakes a little more before he lifts his head and reconnects their lips chastely. They kiss softly for a few minutes, both breathing heavy and coming down from their highs. “You wanna…” Dean starts to speak before he can catch his breath, and he slumps over, still heaving with effort. “You wanna take a shower?”

Cas laughs lightly. “Give me a minute.” Dean smiles against his shoulder and he feels Dean pull out before stilling on top of him again. Cas runs his hand up and down Dean’s back softly. “That was…” Dean’s head perks up and looks at him expectantly. Cas can’t get the words out and huffs a laugh before covering the top of his face. “Wow.”

“Awesome?” Dean offers as he presses small kisses to Cas’ collarbone and chest. “Incredible? Awe-inspiring?” He kisses Cas’ lips softly and reaches up to move Castiel’s hand and look him in the eyes. “Life-changing?”

Castiel smiles and shakes his head. “You’re so full of yourself.”

Dean waggles his eyebrows and kisses him again. “If we’re speaking literally: I was full of you, you were full of me. I like to think we’ve both been full of each other. It’s a give and take.”

“You’re ridiculous,” he says through another laugh and wraps his arms around Dean’s neck, kissing him softly. “We should shower now.”

Dean sits up and helps clean up their mess of tin foil and condoms from the bed before they head to the shower together. Cas honestly can’t remember the last time he felt so good and just generally free of stress. He definitely intends on keeping his earlier promise to Dean because if Dean could fuck him senseless and make him laugh on a regular basis, Cas figures that’s pretty much the miracle cure for stress. (Dean also gives really good shower massages, and that’s a big bonus.)

When they finish showering, Dean wanders into the kitchen, rubbing his stomach. Cas tousles his wet hair absently and goes to clean up their wine glasses. “I’m starving,” Dean says as he opens the refrigerator. “Dude, you have _nothing_ in here.”

He looks over his shoulder with a look of pure betrayal and Cas gives him a half shrug. “I’m never here to cook. I usually eat at the hospital or order takeout.” Dean sighs and closes the refrigerator. Cas puts the wine glasses in the sink and comes up behind Dean, wrapping his arms under Dean’s and kissing his back and shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

Dean chuckles and runs his hands over Cas’ forearms. “Ah, it’s okay.” Dean turns around and wraps his arms around Cas. “I’m gonna have to change that.” Cas kisses him and hums questioningly. “Yep. I’m a great cook.”

Cas sighs and looks up at Dean’s face, trying to figure him out. “I don’t understand.” Dean raises an eyebrow to him. “You’re incredibly good-looking, you’re smart, you’re a sex _god_ -”

Dean laughs. “ _Please_ , do go on.”

Cas rolls his eyes. “Seriously! You’re funny, affectionate, and you cook. What the Hell is wrong with you?”

“It sounds like there’s nothing wrong with me.”

“Exactly.” Dean pulls back and looks at him skeptically. “ _Why_ are you single?”

Dean laughs and kisses him. “Mm, probably because I have a thing for unavailable doctors,” he teases against Castiel’s lips.

“I’ll figure you out eventually,” Cas warns. Dean shrugs with a waggle of his eyebrows. “Are you staying tonight?”

“As long as you want me to,” Dean responds. Cas smiles softly and takes his hand, guiding him back to the bedroom. They both settle under Castiel’s blanket. Dean lays on his back and pulls Cas to his chest. Dean kisses Cas’ forehead briefly and runs a hand down his back. “So, Cas, what’s the real reason you’re so afraid of seriously dating?”

Cas furrows his brow and looks up at Dean. “I’ve told you why.”

“You told me _a_ reason, but it’s not _the_ reason.” Dean looks down to watch Castiel’s face.

Castiel pauses, unsure of what to say. Dean brings his other hand to graze over the arm Cas has slung across Dean’s chest. “Why?”

“I’m just curious,” he returns quietly. “I mean, I’m fine with this ‘casual dating’ thing. _Believe me,_ this is awesome.”

“Then, what’s the problem?” Castiel asks in almost a whisper.

“There isn’t a problem.” He pauses for a moment and watches Cas’ expression. “You’re not the only one trying to figure out the other person here.”

Cas looks down and presses a small kiss to Dean’s chest where his chin was resting. “I suppose we’ll both get our answers eventually.” Dean shrugs in agreement. “Oh, I checked my schedule and I actually have time off for the first time in months.”

Dean grins. “Do you have plans?”

“Not that I’m aware of.” Cas lifts his head enough to meet Dean halfway for a short kiss.

“Now you do,” Dean mumbles against his lips and Cas smiles in return. “If you want.” Cas nods and Dean nods back. With one last peck to Dean’s lips, Cas turns around and lets Dean fit against his back and his arms wrap around his chest.

The next morning is similar to the last time Dean stayed the night. Cas wakes up to his alarm clock and sits up, rubbing the fog out of his eyes. Dean groans beside him and rolls over, slinging his arm over Cas’ waist. Cas huffs a small laugh and looks down at Dean. “Stay in bed,” Dean grumbles against the pillow with his eyes shut.

“I wish.” Cas rubs Dean’s arm momentarily before moving it away from him. Dean moves it back and Cas looks down to see Dean smiling. “Dean.” Dean sighs and finally releases Cas so he can get up and stretch. Dean puts his hands behind his head and watches Cas get dressed. “Do you work today?”

Dean unhappily says yes and waits until Cas goes into the kitchen to pour his first cup of coffee before he gets out of bed. Cas takes his mug with him out to his small balcony and sits in his chair, looking at the other buildings. This was the only good thing about waking up before the sun; the color of the world between night and day, the smell of the air, the way everything seems so peaceful. It’s a nice place to enjoy his first cup of coffee in the morning.

After he finishes his cup, he goes back inside to find Dean laying on the couch in his work uniform, eyes closed, shirt not buttoned up and pants undone. He smiles and walks past him and into the bathroom so he can finish getting ready. He brushes his teeth, pushes his fingers through his hair just enough to seem presentable, and goes back into the kitchen. He pours the rest of the coffee into his travel mug and goes back over to the couch, where Dean is snoring lightly.

He leans over the back of the couch and rubs a hand over Dean’s head. “I’m leaving. Lock the door behind you,” he whispers.

Dean snorts gracelessly and shakes his head. He sits up and rubs a hand over his eyes. “No, I’d better get going. I’ll uh-” Dean yawns and shakes his head again. “I’ll drop you off. It’s on the way.” Cas nods and waits patiently for Dean to finish getting dressed, sleepily buttoning up his shirt and tucking it into his pants before buttoning those as well. He fastens his buckle and looks around confused. “Didn’t I have shoes?” Castiel gives him a half shrug and drinks from his mug. He moves to the front door and waits for Dean to find his shoes and put them on. “Let’s hit it.”

They walk silently down to the lower-level parking and Cas follows Dean to his car. Though he half-expected Dean to drive a motorcycle, his actual car choice doesn’t surprise him much. It’s a classic American car, and it makes a loud, but satisfying rev when it starts. It smells like a mixture of leather and Dean’s cologne (so basically, it just smells like Dean, and that’s definitely not a bad thing). Cas rides along in silence, the low sound of classic rock and purr of the car almost lulling him back to sleep. It doesn’t take long before Dean’s pulling into the front of the hospital and putting the car in park. “Thank you for the ride,” Cas says.

“Which one?” Dean asks with a grin. Cas rolls his eyes and takes off his seatbelt and Dean leans over, touching the side of Cas’ face. Cas meets him halfway and kisses him softly. “I’ll see you around, alright?” Cas pecks his lips one more time and gets out of the car. He gets to the sidewalk before Dean calls out to him. “Remember to call me this time.” Cas grins and bites his lip. Dean winks and Cas gives him one small wave before Dean drives off.

That day does by rather quickly, and Cas thinks he could definitely get accustomed to living a much more relaxed life. He does remember to text Dean later that day, and they message back and forth every so often, about nothing in particular. That’s how it goes for the next few days. Sometimes Dean will bring up his son, Ben, and something he’d said to him on the phone that day; usually they just talk about work or random thoughts. Then, there’s the _“Come over now”_ text Castiel sends to Dean one night. Despite replying with _“You could say please,”_ and not getting a reply from Cas, Dean comes over anyways.

Castiel has a surgery not go as planned (it was invasive and unnecessary; he had warned her about the possible side-effects, but she was insistent) and the patient ends up suffering from some short-term memory loss. Cas deals with it for a while, checking in on her occasionally, but she continues to show no progress even two days later.

Dean drops by unannounced that night, and Cas is a wreck. He’s spent the last few hours going over the procedures for the surgery and beating himself up for slipping up somehow. Dean tries to get Cas to talk, and Cas just tries to explain the surgery to Dean. Dean comforts him as best as he can, tells him it’s not his fault, and maybe she’ll recover after some time. Cas doesn’t really believe him, but Dean gives him a really long and thorough massage and fucks him into the mattress later, so he ends up feeling okay by the end of the night. The next day, Dean sends him a text that just says _“It’s not your fault. Remember to breathe today.”_ Cas takes a screenshot of the message and looks at it throughout the day when he starts feeling bad again.

His last shift before he gets two days off is an especially long one- he has to work 40 straight hours (10 of which consist of him being on-call, so he at least gets the occasion to close his eyes in the on-call room between pages). Cas is on the final stretch, the last seven hours of his shift, and he’s dragging along but barely. He’s leaning over the nurse’s station, reviewing a patient’s charts and going over their post-op progress, and someone comes up beside him. “What’s up, Doc?”

Cas looks up and sees Dean grinning at him. “Hello, Dean. Have you been waiting a long time to use that joke, or did it just come to you?”

Dean pretends to look offended. “Here I am trying to be a good guy and bring you coffee, and you insult my joke.” Dean sighs and shakes his head. “I guess I’ll just drink it myself and go about my business.”

“You brought me coffee?” Dean hands the coffee over and Cas immediately drinks some from it. (And Cas definitely doesn’t care that Dean got it right- black with two shots of espresso.)

Dean shrugs and leans over the counter on one elbow. “I was here, had a few minutes. Figured you’d need as much boost as you could get. Did you miss me?” Dean asks with a cheesy grin.

Cas sips his coffee and raises an eyebrow to him. “You’ve hardly given me a chance to miss you.”

“I guess I don’t have to come over after work tonight, then,” Dean teases in a hushed tone. He knows that Cas chooses not to bring his personal life to work, especially when they’re just casually seeing each other.

Cas sighs in mock exasperation. “I don’t know why you even bother saying that when you know you’re coming over anyways.” Dean nods in reluctant agreement. “What time is that going to be?” Dean opens his mouth to respond when his pager beeps. He looks down and checks it quickly. “It doesn’t matter, just come by whenever you want.” Dean sends him a wink before turning around and half-jogging down the hallway towards the stairs. Cas goes back to his coffee and patient charts, ready for his shift to be over.

By the time he leaves work, it’s midnight and he couldn’t be more tired. He makes his way to his apartment and forgets to text Dean that he’s off, but he leaves the door unlocked because Dean will probably be right behind him. He toes off his shoes and collapses onto the couch, passing out immediately.

He doesn’t know how long he sleeps for, but when he wakes up, there’s a blanket on him that definitely wasn’t there when he fell asleep. He sits up sleepily, rubbing his eyes and looking around. It’s daylight out, but he’s not sure what time it is. Castiel yawns and stretches as he stands up, and goes to make a pot of coffee. While it’s brewing, he changes out of his scrubs and puts on some lounge pants. Dean isn’t in the bedroom or the bathroom, but someone had to have put the blanket over him while he was asleep. He pours his coffee and checks his phone for any missed calls or texts. There aren’t any, and Cas still can’t figure out what happened. Cas shrugs and takes his coffee out onto the balcony.

A few minutes pass and Castiel enjoys the sunshine on his chest and arms. When he hears his apartment door open and shut, it startles him. He looks through the sliding glass door and sees Dean with his arms full of shopping bags. Cas gets up and goes back inside. “Dean, what are you doing?”

Dean looks up at him and smiles. “Just did some grocery shopping.” Cas walks over and Dean puts an arm around him and giving his lips a brief peck. “Figured you’d still be sleeping when I got back.”

Cas is still confused; his brain is still out-of-whack from his deep sleep. “Where… Did you sleep here?”

“Yeah, I slept in the bed.” Dean starts unpacking the groceries and puts them away. “Got off pretty late, and you were already passed out, so I just let you sleep. Didn’t think you’d sleep until three in the afternoon, but I know how it goes.” Cas quickly looks at the clock on the oven to confirm it actually is almost 16:00. He also didn’t think he would sleep for 15 hours straight, but it _was_ a long shift. “I woke up and figured you could use some sustenance around here.”

“You didn’t have to do all this,” Cas says as he pours another cup of coffee.

“Well, I needed groceries to cook dinner, so I kinda _did_ have to.”

Cas sighs and tilts his head to look at Dean appreciatively. “You’re cooking dinner?” Dean hums in response. Cas sets his coffee down and presses against Dean’s back, wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist. “You’re a good man, Dean.”

Dean lets out a hearty laugh and reaches back to pat Castiel on his hip lightly. “It’s just dinner.”

Cas shrugs and kisses Dean’s shoulder. “I know.” He kisses lightly up Dean’s neck and Dean sighs as they sway together. “I still appreciate it, though.”

“Yeah?”

“Mm-hm,” Cas hums with a small smile. “I don’t know how I’m going to thank you.” Cas feels Dean chuckle again and he turns around to face Cas. Cas grins and presses his face into Dean’s neck, kissing his skin softly. “What do you think?”

Dean leans back against the counter and spreads his legs just wide enough for Cas to fit between them. “I’m sure you’ll think of something,” he murmurs as Cas kisses over his jaw.

Castiel kisses up Dean’s jaw and over to finally connect with his lips. He moves his hands to Dean’s sides and up under his tee shirt. Dean digs his fingers into Cas’ back, pressing them closer together as their kiss deepens. Cas hums into the kiss and lets his hands lightly trace up and down Dean’s stomach and down over his hipbones. Slowly, he moves his hands to Dean’s belt buckle and teasingly unbuckles it. Dean sighs and lets his head fall back when Cas presses his palm against Dean’s groin. Cas lets his teeth lightly graze up the column of Dean’s neck as he rubs his palm firmly over Dean’s bulge, his other hand holding Dean’s hip and thumbing over the waistband of his jeans.

He increases the pace and firmness of his hand and sucks a mark on Dean’s adams apple, making Dean’s breath hitch. Dean’s hands on Cas’ back urge him on as his breath quickens slightly and his hips roll into the movements of Castiel’s hand. The hand on Dean’s hip moves down to the button of Dean’s jeans and pops it open before slowly dragging down the zipper. Cas gently bites down on the sensitive part of Dean’s neck as he moves his hand inside Dean’s boxers. “ _Cas_ ,” Dean breathes. Cas starts stroking Dean inside the confines of his jeans and returns his mouth to Dean’s. Dean groans into the kiss and quickens their pace, nipping and sucking at Cas’ lips insistently. Cas pulls his lips back momentarily to feel Dean’s quickened breath and hear the gentle moan that falls from his lips when Cas works his hand faster.

Castiel kisses Dean hard enough to make both of them groan before he lowers himself to his knees, lifts Dean’s shirt and kisses his stomach. He rubs Dean over his jeans again while sucking a bruise just above his waistband. With a gentle bite down over the same spot, Cas tugs down Dean’s jeans and boxers and starts mouthing at the underside of his cock. “ _God_ , Cas,” Dean groans as he fists his hands in Cas’ hair. Cas looks up at him as he licks a wide stripe up and sucks on the head of Dean’s cock until he looks down at him. Dean lets out a harsh breath at the sight and his grip in Cas’ hair tightens.

Cas starts working his mouth eagerly, bringing one hand up to stroke the part of Dean’s length his mouth isn’t covering. Each movement of his tight mouth is met with a stroke of his hand, and Dean’s knees start to wobble. “Holy shit, Cas- _uhn_ , you’re so perfect,” Dean encourages in a raspy, broken voice. Cas works his head faster, swirling his tongue around the head of Dean’s dick and sucking harder every time he lifts his head up. Dean’s head falls back and he moans loudly, tugging on Cas’ hair hard enough for Cas to moan at the sensation. “ _Oh, fuck_ ,” Dean breathes, practically in a whimper. Cas pulls his lips off slowly, sucking hard on his way up and pointedly licking the sensitive underside of the tip of Dean’s dick. Dean’s stomach quivers and his knees wobble harshly. “Jesus Christ,” he whispers, looking down at Cas.

Cas kisses and runs his lips over every part of Dean’s dick while continuing to stroke him with his hand. He kisses the spot where Dean’s pelvis meets his leg and nips down before sucking a bruise there. Dean growls and tugs on his hair to pull him up and into a deep kiss. Dean clutches the sides of his face almost possessively and Cas grabs onto Dean’s forearms. Dean spins them around so Cas has his back to the counter instead and Dean backs up just enough to take his tee shirt off. He tosses it aside and quickly steps out of his shoes, jeans and boxers while Cas holds onto the counter and catches his breath.

Dean steps back to Cas and grabs him by the waistband of his low-slung pajama pants and tugs him closer. Bodies flush together, Cas wraps his arms around Dean’s shoulders as they kiss and rock against each other. Dean moves his hands to Cas’ ass and squeezes both cheeks firmly. Cas lets out a soft breath against his lips as they kiss and ruts against Dean harder. Dean slips his hands below the fabric of Cas’ pants and squeezes him the same way as before. Cas cards his fingers through the back of Dean’s hair, and Dean moves his fingers to the crack of Cas’ ass and nudges at his hole teasingly. “Ah, _Dean_ ,” Cas breathes. Dean kisses over his cheek and down his jaw to his neck as he continues rubbing three fingers against Cas’ hole and squeezing his ass.

He bites down on a sensitive spot on Cas’ collarbone and Cas lets out a soft moan. Dean sucks a hickey on Cas’ chest by his nipple before licking over it briefly. In one movement, Dean flips Cas so his front is pressed facing the counter and pulls down his pants. Chest heaving, Cas hurriedly steps out of them and Dean slides them away before spreading Cas’ legs. Cas braces himself on the counter and lets out a shaky breath as Dean runs his hands up his thighs and grabs onto his ass. Dean kisses the backs of his thighs and up over his ass, gently biting occasionally and making Cas squirm. “D-” Cas gets cut off by Dean moving his tongue to Cas’ hole and lets out a choked-off sob. He grips the counter tighter and pushes his hips back. Dean licks him eagerly, holding his ass firmly and massaging with his thumbs. “Oh, _fuck_ , Dean,” Cas whimpers. Dean buries his face in adamantly as he works his tongue faster, breathing hot against Cas’ wet skin. Cas lets his head fall forward as he pants and tries to keep his arms up. Suddenly, Dean’s pulling back and Cas whips his head around. “What-”

Dean presses a quick kiss to his back and whispers, “Wait here.” Cas, still confused, doesn’t move and watches as Dean walks quickly to the bedroom (mostly watching his ass because it really is a nice ass). Dean returns with the bottle of lubricant and a condom, and Cas gazes at the deep blush that’s fallen over Dean’s neck and chest as he walks back over. Dean grins and takes Cas’ face in one of his hands, bringing their lips together in a kiss that’s a lot more chaste than earlier. “You’re awesome,” he whispers against Cas’ lips with a smile. Cas can feel himself blush slightly, but kisses him again and gently tugs on Dean’s bottom lip with his teeth. Dean shakes his head and presses another quick peck to his lips before kneeling back down.

Dean presses a kiss to his hole and Cas lets out a sigh as his head slumps forward again. Dean works his tongue on him rhythmically as he squeezes lubricant on his fingers. He pulls his mouth back and presses a finger to Cas’ muscle and pushing in slowly. Cas lets out another sigh and lets himself fall to his elbows on the counter. Dean works his finger and kisses the meat of Cas’ ass and up to his lower back. “Two, Dean,” Cas says with a small wiggle of his hips. He feels Dean smile against his skin before feeling the addition of a second finger. Castiel lets out a small moan and rocks his hips back onto Dean’s hand, meeting each thrust of his fingers. Dean scissors his fingers on every pull and moves quicker, crooking his finger in a knowing way. When Dean hits his prostate, Cas bites down on a moan and squeezes his eyes shut. Dean works his hand faster and continues to hit the spot every so often to keep Cas panting and chanting encouragements under his breath.

When Dean adds a third finger, Cas is beyond words. He needs Dean inside him immediately, so he pushes his hips back eagerly. Cas tries to tell Dean to hurry up, but he can’t quite make it out through his panting. Dean seems to understand anyways, so he pulls his fingers out and makes quick work of rolling on a condom. Cas picks himself up from his elbows and holds onto the counter while Dean squeezes lube onto his cock and lines himself up. He pushes in slowly, both of them groaning along the way. Dean wraps his arms around Cas’ torso and holds onto his chest and kisses over his shoulder blades. Cas moves his head to the side and arches his back and Dean leans up more to kiss him. He pulls his hips back and pushes forward, catching the soft moan from Cas’ lips with his.

Dean pulls back again and thrusts forward, more rough this time and Cas’ mouth falls open. Cas moves his hips to meet each of Dean’s thrusts until they’re setting up a rhythmic pace. Cas moves his arms to cover Dean’s across his chest and holds onto his hands as he bounces his hips back adamantly. Dean buries his face in Cas’ neck and gently bites down as their hips snap together faster still. Cas moans with every thrust, between cursing and chanting Dean’s name (because no other words really come to mind when it’s all he can do to keep himself together). Cas moves one hand to the back of Dean’s head and turns enough to connect their lips again, and Dean rolls his hips against Cas’ ass, burying himself deep inside. Cas sighs into their kiss and sucks Dean’s lip briefly.

Cas lets go of Dean and moves forward to lean against the counter on his elbows, Dean pushes his back flat before pulling back almost completely out and snapping his hips back in roughly. “Oh, _fuck me, Dean_ ,” Cas moans. Dean grabs ahold of Cas’ hips and pulls them back to meet every forward thrust of his hips until they’re setting an almost brutal pace. Cas’ mouths falls open, panting and crying out helplessly every time Dean’s body slams into his. A hand moves to the top of Cas’ shoulder and holds on as Dean hits a different angle that has Cas squeezing his eyes shut and moaning Dean’s name like a prayer. Dean’s groaning and grunting with effort and he slams forward suddenly, rolling his hips deep and thoroughly and Cas practically goes boneless, so overwhelmed by the sensations. “Oh my _God_.”

Dean leans over and rests his forehead against Cas’ sweat-slicked back to catch his breath. His hands skate down Cas’ flank and down between his thighs, squeezing them appreciatively. The deep roll of their hips together has Cas dizzy and his knees begging to give out. Dean kisses the knob of his spine and up his neck. “Turn around,” he whispers.

Dean pulls back to let Cas move and Dean takes Cas into his arms for a deep kiss. Cas melts into it and frames Dean’s jaw with both of his hands. Dean lifts him up easily (which is incredibly hot, and Castiel wishes he had a moment to appreciate it) onto the counter and seamlessly pushes into him again. Cas’ mouth falls open with a soft moan and he wraps his legs as high as he can on Dean’s waist. Dean pushes in to the hilt and pulls Cas slightly over the edge so he can get a good angle. Holding onto Cas’ back with both arms, he pulls out and pushes back in. Dean connects their lips again, rolling along with their slowly increasing pace. Cas nudges him on by locking his feet together and pulling them against Dean’s back insistently.

With Cas’ arms firmly wrapped around his neck, Dean begins roughly snapping his hips against Cas’ quicker, getting impossibly deep inside Cas and driving directly into his sweet spot. Cas breaks their kiss and pants loud encouragements, too blissed out to even comprehend what he’s saying. Dean buries his face in Cas’ neck and holds onto Cas’ back and shoulders to pull him down and meet each of his thrusts. The feverish slapping of their bodies together filled the apartment and was only drowned out by Dean’s groans and Castiel’s loud string of curses and Dean’s name. Cas can feel Dean’s ragged breaths coming quicker along with the pace of his thrusts, and he knows he’s close. Cas has been too close for too long, and knowingly Dean reaches between them to stroke at his otherwise abandoned cock. “Uhn, _fuck, D-Dean-!_ ” Dean plows into him harder, hits his prostate with five quick thrusts met by quick strokes of his hand and Cas is coming.

“Cas-Cas-Cas- _Jesus, Cas-_ ” Dean strings together with a heaving chest. He manages to stroke Cas through his orgasm before driving hard into Cas and coming with just a few more thrusts. “Oh, God- _shit_. Shit,” Dean breathes heavily against Cas’ chest with his forehead pressed to his neck. Cas can hardly even think about moving, feeling boneless after one of the hardest orgasms of his adult life. If it weren’t for Dean holding them up, Cas was sure they’d be on the ground. They both remain unmoving, trying to catch their breaths together. “You…” Dean says before running out of breath again. He presses a small kiss to Cas’ collarbone. “I should cook you dinner more often.”

The men chuckle together and Dean pulls out of Castiel and lowers him to his feet. Cas lowers his hands to Dean’s chest as they kiss slowly, and Dean runs his hands up and down Castiel’s back comfortingly. “You haven’t even cooked yet,” Cas murmurs into Dean’s lips with a smile. Dean laughs and kisses him deeper. Cas sinks into it and hums contentedly. Dean pulls back and they look at each other fondly. “What are you cooking?”

Dean lets out a loud laugh. “Wow, Cas, give a guy a couple minutes to catch his breath before you’re pushing him into the kitchen.” Cas opens his mouth to respond, but Dean shakes his head with a fond smile and kisses him briefly. “I got stuff for a few meals. We could have meatloaf and potatoes, spaghetti with meat sauce and garlic bread, or burgers and fries. Take your pick.”

Dean reaches down to take off the condom, ties it off and tosses it into the trash can while Cas contemplates. “Spaghetti,” he answers after a few moments.

Dean nods and reaches for a paper towel to dampen in the sink. Cas walks over to his (now, cold) cup of coffee and puts it in the microwave to warm it up. Dean walks back over to him with the damp napkin after cleaning himself off and wipes down Cas’ abdomen to clean him off as well. Dean tosses the towel in the trash can and Cas steps back into his lounge pants. Dean only puts his boxer briefs back on before taking out food to prepare. Cas hears the microwave beep and takes his coffee over to the couch so he can finish watching _Brain Story_.

It's nice being able to relax on the couch with a nice documentary while someone hums in the kitchen. Cas gets days off- it's not like he's never had one- but they've always consisted of him trying to occupy his time with reading up on the latest surgical techniques and ordering something quick and easy for dinner. He definitely never spends his days off with people, but if he knew how nice it would be to have a calming presence around along with amazing sex and a hot meal, he would've tried to at least make an effort in meeting someone.

Cas is finished with his coffee and is lounging comfortably on the couch when he looks back to check on Dean. Dean’s bobbing his head as he stirs something, and then Cas catches him playing intense air drums and almost laughs out loud. Dean is a huge dork, but it's endearing. Cas watches a little while longer before he turns his attention back to his documentary.

Half an hour passes and Cas hears a timer go off; he looks back to see Dean pulling out garlic bread from the oven, and it smells amazing. The last time his apartment smelled like a home-cooked meal was… never. (Cas isn’t much of a cook. It’s mostly a fire hazard when he’s in the kitchen.) He’s about to get up to help when Dean’s moving two pieces of bread to two plates and already bringing them over. “Soup’s on,” he says as he places the plates down on the coffee table in front of the couch.

“Thank you. It smells incredible,” Cas compliments as he moves to get up. “Do you want some wine?”

Dean sits down on the couch. “Uh, just water. I shouldn’t drink before work.”

“You have to work tonight?” Cas asks, filling up a glass with water before moving to pour red wine into his own glass.

“Yep, graveyard shift.” Dean checks his watch momentarily. “I’ve got another two hours.”

Cas brings the glasses over and sits down next to Dean, putting his cup by his plate. “If I’d known you had to work tonight, I wouldn’t have let you spend the night cooking. Won’t you be tired?”

Dean shrugs and digs into the food. Cas watches with a mildly disgusted face (because Dean eating? Not exactly the sexiest thing he’s ever seen.) but tries not to seem too judgmental. He hands Dean a napkin before he’s swallowed his food completely. Dean nods a thanks and wipes the corner of his mouth lightly. Cas fights back a smile at Dean’s sauce-covered lips. “No sweat off my back,” he says finally after swallowing.

Cas accepts his response and twirls some spaghetti on his fork and tastes it. He’s not surprised that it’s amazing. It’s not typical Italian spaghetti; the sauce is rich and thicker than what he would get at an Italian restaurant, but maybe that’s what makes it good. Cas nods and eats another bite. Dean’s watching him slightly as he continues to eat (probably just to make sure he likes it). “This is very good,” he comments after wiping his mouth.

Dean beams proudly. “Good.” He turns his attention back to the tv, which is finally reaching the end of _Brain Story_. Dean chases a bite of spaghetti with a big bite from his garlic bread. “Do you watch _Dr. Sexy_?” Dean asks with his mouth full.

Cas sips his wine and decides it’s probably best not to watch Dean eat anymore. “No. Do you?” Dean shrugs sheepishly. A smile breaks onto Cas’ face. “Are you one of those people obsessed with that show? Dean, you know it’s a soap opera, correct?”

Dean takes a sip of water and wipes his mouth before defending himself. “First of all, it’s a guilty pleasure, alright? And second of all, it’s a smart, well-rounded drama, not a _soap opera_.”

“Is that-” Cas feigns a serious expression and turns to him. “Dean, is that why you became a paramedic? So you could be apart of the drama?”

“Shut up,” Dean grumbles as he shakes his head.

“Be honest: do you have a fetish? Is that why you asked me out?” Cas puts a hand on Dean’s knee. “Am I your Doctor Sexy?”

“Alright, alright, alright, that’s enough! Y’know what? I don’t need this,” Dean replies playfully as he puts down his napkin.

He makes to get up and Castiel grins easily and reaches over to him. “I’m just teasing you.”

“No, it’s too late for apologies, Cas.” Dean lets Cas pull him back onto the couch and Cas leans in to kiss him on the cheek. “And it’s not a fetish.” Cas nods with a smile and kisses Dean on the lips. “It’s not!”

Cas pets the back of his head before moving back to his plate. He picks up another bite. “You may watch your program if you wish. Just please try not to get too excited.” Dean gives him a mocking laugh as he turns the channel. Dean watches the show intently, occasionally mumbling replies to the characters under his breath. Cas watches and wonders why people attach themselves to shows with so much drama, but it’s a popular program, so maybe he’s just not catching on. Dean finishes his food first and sits forward with his elbows on his knees, chin in his hands.

Cas finally finishes his food and relaxes back onto the couch with his wine. Something happens on the show, a nurse slaps the doctor with the long hair, and Dean gasps. Dean looks at him expectantly. “Can you _believe_ her?”

Castiel peers at him. “She… Um.”

Dean relaxes back and starts to explain. “Gina is just mad that Dr. Sexy never called her back after they knocked boots the other night, but Dr. Sexy told her that it was a fluke because he’s _actually_ still kinda tied down to Rebecca.” Cas nodded along and sipped his wine before resting his head on his hand against the back of the couch. “And Gina knew about Rebecca, but Rebecca doesn’t know about Gina. So Gina confronted Dr. Sexy about it, saying she’s going to tell Rebecca, and he called her a slut- _don’t even get me started on that_ \- and I have this theory-” Dean looks up to see Cas staring at him with a tilted head and he stops talking. Dean clears his throat and purses his lips. “I’m just a casual viewer.”

Cas licks his lips and nods. “Obviously.” Dean shakes his head and relaxes against Cas’ side. Cas finishes his wine and sets it on the table. “You know, you’re kind of a dork.”

“ _Hey_ ,” Dean starts. Cas raises an eyebrow to him and Dean begrudgingly concedes. “I resent that.” After just a few minutes, Dean’s watch beeps and he sighs. “Alright, I’m out.”

Dean stands up and goes to pick up his clothes that were scattered on the floor earlier. Cas picks up their dishes from dinner and walks them to the sink as Dean gets dressed. “Thank you for dinner, Dean. It was very nice,” Cas says as he starts running the hot water.

Dean comes up and puts a hand on the small of his back and kisses him briefly. “Thank you for thanking me,” he murmurs with a grin. Cas lets out a small laugh and rolls his eyes. Dean pats him on the butt before turning away. “See ya around,” he says with a wink from the doorway.

Cas gives him a smile in return and watches him leave. Cas finishes cleaning the kitchen (takes his time cleaning the part of the counter they… defiled earlier, just in case Dean hadn’t cleaned it enough) and puts away his dishes. He gets another glass of wine, grabs the lubricant from where they’d put it aside so he can put it back on the beside table, and settles onto the bed with _In Stitches_ , a memoir he’s been wanting to start for months.

It’s been so long since he’s been this relaxed. Things are going well at work, he isn’t stressed out about living up to anyone’s standards anymore, and he has time to read (a very simple thing that means a substantial amount regardless). It’s not a very exciting life by any means; however, the addition of occasional visits from Dean make him feel younger than he’s felt in a long time. Despite Dean complaining that he’s old, he has this youthful charm about him that Castiel appreciates. He has passion inside him and he’s not afraid to show it. It’s very respectable, Cas thinks. (It also doesn’t hurt that he’s gorgeous, and as shallow of a thought as it is, it’s nice to be shown attention by someone so good-looking.)

Cas reads a few chapters of his book before looking at the time and noticing it’s nearing midnight. He slept late, but he also knows the importance of sticking to a regular sleeping schedule, so he goes to sleep. After a few hours, he's woken up by the electronic beeping noise of his phone from the bedside table. Cas yawns and reaches over to check it.

_New Message: Dean: “Hey, I'm off. Can I come over?”_

Cas is about to type out a yes when his phone goes off again.

_Dean: “Only because it's closer than my place.”_ It goes off again immediately. _“Sorry, I'm totally up your ass. Nevermind.”_

Cas yawns and smiles a little bit before typing out, _“Of course you can come over.”_ If he were more awake, he'd be inclined to make a “I like when you're up my ass” joke, but he can barely muster up the energy to get up and unlock the door. He manages to trudge his way to the door and back in bed where it’s soft and warm, and he quickly falls back asleep. Cas is only half-aware of feeling a dip in the mattress and someone kissing his neck as he curls up behind him some time later.

After a few more hours of sleeping (probably the best night’s rest he’s gotten in years), he’s woken up by Dean squeezing him tighter and kissing the back of his neck. Cas smiles and cozies himself closer. “Good morning,” Dean mumbles against the skin where his neck meets his shoulder.

Cas yawns and rubs his hands over Dean’s forearms around his chest. “Good morning, Dean,” he returns quietly, still mostly asleep. Dean kisses up his neck and over his cheek, moving one hand down Cas’ flank and over his hips. “Did you get some rest?”

Dean gives him a half shrug and rubs small circles over Cas’ thigh, still kissing over his jaw. “Got a few hours.”

Cas sighs when Dean’s hand squeezes his inner thigh gently. “How was work?” Cas’ mind dares to lull him back to sleep, and he nestles his face farther into the pillow.

“Cas, I’m trying to put the moves on you,” Dean murmurs with a kiss behind his ear. “Do you really want me to talk about work?” Dean’s breath is hot against his ear, and the smooth way his bottom lip drags lightly on the outer shell of it gives Castiel goosebumps.

“Mm, I’m just trying to make conversation,” Cas hums softly. “You’re going to _‘put your moves on me’_ regardless.”

Dean huffs a laugh against his neck and Cas turns his head enough to get Dean to kiss him. They kiss slowly and deeply for a few moments, Cas eventually laying flat on his back with his fingers carding through the back of Dean’s hair. Dean rolls over until he’s laying on top of Cas, straddling him and rocking against him lazily. “Aw, c’mon,” Dean sighs with a deliberate roll of his hips. “You sayin’ you don’t wanna fuck me?”

Cas grins and kisses him harder. “This was your idea. Therefore-” Cas tugs lightly on Dean’s bottom lip. “-You’re on top.” Dean pulls his head back and looks at Cas incredulously, and is met with a half-smile.

“That’s not a rule,” he says defiantly. Cas shrugs lightly and moves his hands to rest on Dean’s clavicle. Cas pulls him back down for another kiss and Dean chuckles. “Dude, I’m always on top.”

Cas grins and rocks his groin up against Dean pointedly. “You’re just so good at it,” he teases with a slight whine in his tone. Cas drags his bottom lip over Dean’s top lip teasingly and grips the back of his neck tighter, trying to rut his hips harder. “Please?”

Admittedly, Cas knows what it takes to get his way with Dean by now; he makes it very obvious. Dean rocks back into the movement of Cas’ hips and lets out a sharp breath. “You’re so spoiled,” Dean grumbles after a while. Cas’ lips break into a smile and he kisses Dean deliberately. “You’re topping next time.” Dean pulls back and looks at him pointedly for a beat.

“Fine,” Castiel concedes. Dean peers at him, searching for a promise. “ _I will_. Just fuck me, Dean.” Dean grins and looks down at his mouth fondly. Cas pulls him back down and kisses his way from Dean’s collarbone up his neck. “Please,” he breathes against Dean’s jaw.

Dean sighs in mock exasperation and brings his lips to Cas’. Their hips rock together as they kiss, and Cas melts into it. He wraps his arms around Dean’s neck as Dean shifts to lay between Cas’ legs. Dean runs his hands down Cas’ arms, down his flank and lands on his thighs. Cas lifts his legs to give him a better angle and Dean holds onto the back of his thighs and up towards his ass. The rolling movements of their hips deepen and Cas moans softly into the kiss.

Dean tears his lips away and looks over to the bedside table. Cas attaches his lips to Dean’s neck and sucks a mark on his collarbone. Dean lets out a shaky laugh and kisses Cas again. He sits up enough to surge over to the table to retrieve the lube and a condom, shoving their hips together harshly. “Oh, God, hurry up,” Cas groans, rutting his hips down against Dean’s groin.

Dean finally gets the items and brings their lips crashing back together. “I love it when you get bossy,” he teases Cas. Cas doesn't have it in him to rebut, instead just holds onto Dean tighter and rolls his whole body adamantly. Dean brings his hands to the waistband of Castiel’s cotton pajama pants and tugs down. Cas lets go of Dean’s neck and Dean sits up to yank his pants all the way off. Dean gets up to his knees and takes off his own boxers, and Cas uses the opportunity to turn over onto his stomach.

When Dean gets his boxers off and tossed aside, he spreads Castiel’s legs and situates himself between them. With kisses to Cas’ back, he squeezes lubricant onto his fingers. Cas moves his hands to rest under his face and arches his back to angle his ass higher. Dean switches between kisses and gentle bites across the expanse of Cas’ back and moves a finger to his hole. “Two,” Cas directs simply with an impatient wiggle of his hips. Dean does as told and slowly pushes two fingers into Cas and is met with a long sigh. Dean uses one hand to gently massage Cas’ lower back as he works his fingers inside him. “ _Yeah_ , Dean,” Cas breathes into his hands as he pushes back on Dean’s hand.

Dean works his fingers faster and deeper, and he hits that spot that makes Castiel moan loudly and his hips stutter. Cas can feel Dean stroking himself as he works his fingers faster inside Cas and continues to hit his prostate relentlessly. Cas is biting down on his own hand and whimpering, fucking himself back on Dean’s hand and brokenly begging for more. Dean bites down on the nape of his neck and slides in a third finger. Cas pushes his face against the bed and fists his hands into the closest pillow to him. “ _Fuck!_ Oh, God, Dean, _please_ \- f- _fuck_ ,” Cas begs with choked-off cries as Dean thrusts his fingers all the way in every time.

Dean stops moving his hand and lets Cas fuck himself back on him instead while he tries to put a condom on. Cas bites down on his lip as he impatiently pushes his hips back. Dean slicks his cock and slides his fingers out, aligning himself with Cas’ hole. Cas keeps his ass angled high and bites down on his finger, head pressed into the mattress as Dean pushes in. “ _Uhn_ , Jesus, Cas,” Dean breathes as he drapes himself over Cas’ back and sheathes himself to the hilt.

Dean slowly pulls his hips back before snapping them back in. Cas fists his hands in the pillow by his head harder and pushes his face into the mattress. Dean’s entire body covers his, pinning him almost flat to the bed with just enough room by his hips so he can push back and meet Dean’s thrusts. Their pace starts slower, each move deliberate and deep. Dean uses his whole body to rock into Cas, his hips rolling after every harsh thrust, until they set up a rhythm that makes Cas chant and moan softly.

Dean’s murmuring praises into the skin of Cas’ back and shoulder and Cas is too out of it to comprehend them. Dean wraps one of his hands under Cas’ arm and holds onto his shoulder while he reaches the other hand to Cas’ inner thigh and grips it tightly as his rhythm quickens. Cas mewls and lets out heavy breaths, unable to push back with Dean wrapped completely around him. He moves his free arm to fist in the top of Dean’s hair and pull his face into Cas’ neck.

Dean’s ragged breath is hot against his ear, his teeth grazing his skin on every powerful thrust of his hips. Cas knew it wasn't going to last long this morning, but he's already dangerously close. And with the way Dean’s pounding him into the mattress, his cock is getting friction from the bed and Dean is overwhelming all of his senses. “ _Fuck_ , Dean-! Oh my God, _harder_ ,” Cas moans as he lifts his chin from the mattress, leaving his forehead pressed down.

Dean moves his knees just enough to give Cas some more space to push back and avidly meet each of his thrusts. Dean grips Cas’ hip tightly and maintains his pace, but each thrust is harsh and biting. Cas lets out loud moans and bounces his ass on Dean with abandon. Dean’s groans and praises in his ears push him on, the piercing of his teeth on the nape of his neck make his hips stutter. “So perfect, Cas, f- _fuck_ ,” he breathes as he presses into his neck. The tight grip Dean has on Cas’ shoulder tightens and jerks Cas’ whole body back into Dean’s with every thrust.

“Dean- _Dean! Uhn, fuck me,_ Dean-!” Cas chants every time Dean’s hips slam into his. Dean’s practically growling into his skin and Cas reaches his free hand back to grip Dean’s hand on his hip as he rocks back harder. “Fuck me, Dean, I'm so close- _oh my God_ ,” he breathes, the side of his face still pressed into the mattress. Dean nods against his neck and reaches between Cas’ legs and jerks him quickly, angling his hips higher to hit Cas’ prostate as much as possible. “ _Dean_ -!” Cas comes with a shout and buries his whole face into the sheets, letting out a long groan.

Dean’s hips thrust into him harder and faster, and Cas thinks for a second he wouldn't mind it if Dean fucked him to death. With his whole body still draped over Cas’, Dean moves both of his hands to Cas’ inner thighs and pulls him back to meet his hips as they propel into him wildly. Dean comes not long after, panting and groaning Cas’ name against his back. Dean slumps on top of him and his hands fall to the bed on either side of them. Both of the men lay still, panting and sweat cooling on their skin, as they catch their breath.

Cas lifts his head enough to look at his alarm clock and notice it's not even nine o’clock yet. He smiles lazily and reaches back to pat Dean on the ass appreciatively. “That's a pleasant way to start the day,” he mumbles. He feels Dean’s whole body shake as Dean chuckles. Dean pulls out of him and Cas rolls over onto his back as Dean takes his condom off and discards it. Dean lays next to him and kisses him deeply. Cas hums and lightly scratches the back of Dean’s neck as they kiss. “If this is how you wake me up in the mornings, I might be able to cut back on my caffeine intake.”

Dean grins and kisses him again, his hand resting gently on Cas’ hip. “Less caffeine would be good for your blood pressure,” he comments against Cas’ lips. He kisses his lips again before moving his lips to Cas’ jaw. “But you're the doctor.”

“Yes, of course.” Dean sucks small marks on his neck and Cas runs his hands up Dean’s back. “Well, in my professional opinion, I would recommend morning sex on a regular basis.” Dean smiles against his neck and moves his lips to Cas’ collarbone and his chest, his thumbs stroking over Castiel’s ribcage. “For the sake of our health, I'm prescribing both of us a regular dose of amazing sex.”

Dean chuckles again and kisses a hickey he’d given Cas yesterday. “Doctor’s orders.” Cas smiles and closes his eyes, sighing softly as Dean continues to cover him with affection. “Y’know, a guy could get used to this.” Cas hums in agreement and cards his fingers through Dean’s hair. He definitely agrees; Cas is sure Dean’s almost too good to be true. It almost makes him paranoid. “Consider yourself lucky, you ain't gotta deal with Garth every morning.”

Cas’ brow tightens. “Garth?”

Dean stiffens and clears his throat. “Ah, yeah. Garth.” He sits up on one elbow and scratches the back of his neck with the other hand before putting it back on Cas’ chest. Cas squints at him in confusion. (He might silently be praying Dean isn't secretly in a relationship.) “My roommate,” Dean adds awkwardly, pursing his lips.

“Oh,” he replies simply. It's a little strange that someone their age has a roommate, but it's better than what Castiel had assumed.

Dean sighs and licks his lips uncomfortably. “Yeah. I, um… I was lookin’ to save a few bucks when I moved out here. He had an ad on Craigslist.” Cas doesn’t respond immediately. It’s not a _big_ deal, and it makes sense with the rising cost of living, still… Cas has lived on his own for almost ten years now, but maybe normal people continue to have roommates well into their thirties. Dean fidgets and scratches his head again. “Is that weird for you?”

“What?”

“Is it weird? Y’know, you’re this hot shot doctor, and I’m just a middle-aged dude who shares a tiny-ass apartment with another dude.”

Castiel can see how self-conscious Dean is about the subject, and maybe that’s his imperfection. Cas has been looking for something, some sort of flaw in Dean to make him human, and maybe it’s just his own self-doubt. “You’re not middle-aged, Dean.” Dean huffs a laugh and stares at his fingers. “And no, I don’t find it all that odd that someone would necessitate a roommate in such a large city.” Dean nods his head, and the answer obviously eases some of his tension. Cas licks his lips, pondering what else he doesn’t know about Dean.

As if he can read minds, Dean settles back down in a relaxed position and asks, “Are you thinking about how we don’t really know much about each other?”

“Yes,” he answers honestly. He knows the bare minimum about Dean’s family, but he doesn’t know some of the simplest things about Dean. Cas runs his fingers over Dean’s forearms thoughtfully. “What’s your last name?”

“Winchester.” Cas nods. Dean Winchester. “Yours starts with an N, but I can't remember it.”

“Novak.”

Dean smiles slightly. “Well, Dr. Novak, what better time than-” He takes a quick look at the clock. “-ten in the morning to get way too personal? Ask me anything. Let's crack this egg.” Castiel smiles at his enthusiasm. It's refreshing to be seeing someone who has such a nice demeanor. “What do you wanna know?”

Cas sighs thoughtfully. He really wants to know the story about Dean’s ex-wife, but they've also only been casually seeing each other for a few weeks, so Cas thinks it's too soon to talk about that. “I'm… I'm not sure. Why don't you ask me something instead?”

Dean shrugs and relaxes against Castiel’s side, pulling the blanket higher over their shoulders. “Maybe we can start with dating history. What's your Little Black Book look like?” Dean puts his hand under the side of his face to look at Cas.

There it is. Obviously he was going to have to talk about Balthazar and Meg, seeing as they're his only two real exes. He didn't necessarily _want_ to talk about them, but if Dean was willing to open up about the subject, he would have to answer it as well. “It's not a very exciting history, I'm afraid. My first partner was back when I was a junior in undergraduate school. His name was Balthazar-”

“ _Balthazar?_ ” Cas confirms and Dean looks at him skeptically. “That's a weird name, but okay.”

Cas gives a brief conceding nod and continues his story. “Anyways, we dated and he was this… Suave, playboy type. He and I were very different, but I had never been in a relationship before, and he cared about me- which wasn’t something I was used to. We ended up dating probably longer than we should have. He partied too much; I was a shut-in who only left the room for class, work, and to go to the library.”

“Aw, you were a nerd,” Dean coos fondly. Cas rolls his eyes. “That's adorable.”

Cas playfully shoots him a stern look. “It, um… It didn't exactly end well. As it turns out, when you spend all of your time _not_ with your boyfriend, he's probably spending time with someone else.” Dean winces at his words sympathetically. Cas sighs and looks up at the ceiling. If he was honest, Balthazar didn't exactly break his heart, but it _was_ a year of his life he wouldn't get back. “And then I was single for a long time- I went on a few dates, but I'm not the type who needs someone around, so it was just easy to be single. That was until I graduated medical school and started my internship in New Jersey. Meg and I met while she worked as a nurse in the psychiatric ward at the teaching hospital where I studied. She was forward, very self-assured, and knew what she wanted.”

Cas looks over at Dean, who is watching him with quiet intensity. He doesn't interrupt, so Cas continues. “We weren't the best match either, but we understood each other in a way we hadn't connected with other people, and we loved each other in our own way. She and I were together for almost six years, off and on towards the end of it. We lived together most of that time, so to _me_ , I figured we saw enough of each other, but she needed more; she expected more. I couldn't be there for her like she needed, and I prioritized work ahead of her. I’m also not the best at showing emotional compassion. She felt unappreciated.” Cas sighs and he feels Dean absently stroking his arm with two fingers. “And then, well… You know how they say history repeats itself.”

He hears Dean let out a long breath and Dean presses a kiss to Castiel’s shoulder. “And that's why you came back to Chicago?” Cas looks over and nods. Dean’s eyes are understanding and not judgmental, and Cas thinks that the particular shade of green of Dean’s irises is especially comforting. “You never got back on the horse?”

“I focused on work, as I do. It's pretty easy to not date when you're as busy as I am. After I got over Meg, I decided to stick to a no-strings policy when it came to dating. It’s just easier on everyone.” Cas chews on the inside of his cheek momentarily. “I went on a handful of dates over the last few years, but nothing spectacular came to pass. Now here we are. Including you, I've had five sexual partners.” He adds the last part just in case that’s what Dean was concerned about.

He ends his story and turns back to Dean expectantly. Dean's nodding and biting the inside of his lip. “You know not everyone’s like that, right? That it was just a bad fit?” Cas doesn't know that for a fact, but he assumes it will comfort Dean if he nods along, so he does. “But that’s uh… That’s rough.” Cas doesn’t respond again; he doesn’t need to, as there’s nothing new to say. He watches Dean, waiting for him to tell his story. Dean sighs and gives him a half-smile. “My turn?”

Cas turns onto his side and puts his hand under his pillow. “If you feel comfortable sharing.” He’s not going to push, but he’s very curious. Additionally, this _was_ Dean’s idea, after all.

“Why not?” Dean stretches momentarily before relaxing on his back and pulling Cas to his chest. “I might’ve gotten around a little more than you did. Had a couple of girlfriends in high school, but nothing serious- discovered I was into guys in high school, too, but we didn’t live in the most accepting of towns, so it was mostly just secret handjobs beneath the bleachers.” Dean huffs a small laugh at the memory, and Cas traces small shapes on Dean’s abdomen. “One-night stands make up the majority of my history, as pathetic as that sounds at this age.”

The story isn’t starting out in the most comforting way, and Cas clears his throat awkwardly. Dean chuckles and puts a hand over his face. “Oh, wow, that probably sounds horrible. Uh, I’ll go ahead and tell you as far as partners go, I’ve been with more than 10, less than 20.” Cas lets out a relieved sigh and nods. “I didn’t mean to make it sound like I slept with the whole country.”

“It’s not that bad, it just wasn’t… incredibly comforting,” Cas says with a short laugh. Dean looks vaguely insecure at Castiel’s unintentional judgment.. “I’m sorry if that sounded insensitive.”

Dean grins and shrugs a little bit before kissing him briefly. “It’s all good.” Cas resettles in his place on Dean’s chest and Dean clears his throat before continuing his story. “But yeah, I dated in college, too. I had a fling with Lisa, for a few weeks, and she was awesome, but she wasn’t super happy when I talked to her about the whole ‘bisexual’ thing. So we broke up, and both moved on. I moved around a lot after college. I wasn’t sure where I wanted to be, or who I wanted to be with, y’know? I got my first EMT job in DC. I dated a cop, Victor, while I lived there.” Dean shrugs casually. “He was cool, but I was young and got restless.”

Cas doesn’t respond, and pushes back the thought that maybe Dean will get bored soon and move on again. “First guy I actually um… had feelings for… was this guy, Ash, who… He looked like this Lynyrd Skynyrd roadie, like mullet and everything,” he says as he laughs fondly. Cas looks at him in bewilderment. “I know, he sounds really fucking weird. I thought so, too. But he was funny, and a _genius_ \- went to MIT and everything. I met him at this bar- actually I was hitting on his friend, Jo, when we met. I’m still not sure how it turned around, but it did. We just clicked right off the bat, and things fell into place.”

“That sounds nice. What happened?”

Dean’s eyes soften a little bit and he watches his own hand as it grazes up and down Cas’ arm. “We only went out for a few months when I was 25. It, um... “ Dean scratches behind his neck and over his jaw, and Cas watches him. He shouldn’t have asked, it was obvious Dean is closed off about certain things. “It ended because I got a call from Lisa one day, and… She told me that my son wanted to meet me.” Cas’ eyes fall, he doesn’t want to stare at Dean while he’s making himself so vulnerable. His thumb strokes over Dean’s collarbone gently. “I didn’t really know what to do. First, I got wasted, and then I told Ash. And as always, he just- he had the answers. He told me to go, meet the kid, and see if I could be a part of their lives. I knew it was the right thing to do, but I just… It was hard to leave.”

He felt Dean let out a nostalgic sigh. “But I left. When I got to Michigan and I met up with them, I expected it to be weird. Y’know, I dated this girl in college, and she was so different. She danced on tables and I mean, she slept with me, and I think that says enough.” Cas smiles softly and rolls his eyes. “And I never thought I’d know what to do with a kid. But, man… She totally flipped, and really had her life together. She was such a good mom, and Ben is a great kid. I really wish I could’ve been there from the beginning, but he’s my world. Outside of my brother, I have never loved anything half as much as I love that kid.”

Cas smiles and watches as Dean’s face lights up. Dean always looks happiest when he was talking about Ben or Sam, or Sam’s kids. It was really cute. “He sounds amazing,” he adds simply.

Dean nods and brushes a hand through Cas’ hair. “He is. I think that’s what made it easy to stick around. I’ve always been a family guy, and now I had a family of my own. Lisa and I picked up pretty quickly, and we got hitched about a year later. I turned into a real regular Joe. I worked a steady shift at the station so I could be home for dinner, I took days off to go to Ben’s games and to take Lisa out when she wanted a date night. I was domesticated- like shirt tucked into my slacks, shoes off at the door, the whole nine yards.”

Cas grins at the thought. That in’t at all how he pictured Dean when they first met. Dean’s rugged and almost dirty in his handsomeness, and he wore a leather jacket to their first date and smells like… Cas loves the way Dean smells; it’s almost indescribable. He hadn’t thought of Dean as a “dad” until he saw the way Dean looked right at home in the kitchen yesterday. And with the story he’s telling, it makes a lot more sense.

“Things with Lisa were pretty good, y’know, but it just wasn’t perfect. She was always comparing us to Sammy and Jess, and she pretended like my sexuality wasn’t still an issue. I was okay with her ignoring it, but just the way she would watch me when a hot guy would walk by or something… Like she expected me to just check him out, or run after him or something. It got under my skin a lot.”

“You felt like she was just waiting for you to give her an excuse to bring it up,” Cas offers. Dean nods and Cas feels bad for him. He never really had to come out to his family; they weren’t close enough for it to even matter. And as far as his exes go, Balthazar didn’t care that he was still attracted to women, and Meg was all for sexual freedom. Dean, however, actually had to deal with the struggles that come with being bisexual, and Cas honestly wishes he could help him not feel bad about it. (Cas figures now would be a good time to learn how to show sympathy.)

“She got her wish, though. About five years into it, we had a big fight. She had her sister over and they were watching _Magic Mike_ , and I walked by them and Lisa’s sister said something like ‘Channing Tatum is hot’ and-”

“Joe Manganiello is much better looking,” Cas mumbles.

Dean laughs and throws up his arms. “That’s what I said! But _apparently_ , that’s an issue. Lisa’s sister didn’t even blink, but Lisa was really embarrassed even though it was just a passing comment. So when her sister left, she kinda tore into me. Told me she couldn’t be with someone who could leave her for a man.”

“You wouldn’t have just left your family, Dean. Why would she think that?”

Dean shrugs and sighs. “Who fucking knows? But I told her I couldn’t be with someone who doesn’t accept me for me, and she told me to leave.” Cas watches as Dean sucks on his teeth lightly, looking for his next words. “I stuck around Michigan for a while, so I could be close to Ben, but it was too hard seeing them every day after that. I went back out West to see if I could hook back up with Ash, but nobody’s heard from him in years. I stayed with Jo for a while- we’ve been friends since we met- and she was kinda my rock for a year or so. I didn’t date a whole lot after Lisa. It wasn’t as important to me. Moved out to Chicago looking for a fresh start, and then I saw this sexy doctor in a coffee shop of a hospital.” Cas grins and bit his lip. “I might’ve stalked him a little bit for a while, but eventually I got around to asking him out. And here we are.”

Dean and Cas share smiles for a few beats. “You stalked me?” Cas asks as he leans up.

Dean presses their lips together briefly. “Only a little.” He kisses Cas and rolls Cas onto his back. “In my defense, you’re _really_ hot,” he teases against Cas’ lips. Cas grins and lazily kisses Dean for a few moments before Dean moves his lips down Castiel’s neck. “What else do you wanna know?”

Cas closes his eyes and hums, carding his fingers through the back of Dean’s hair while he presses his lips to every inch of Castiel’s neck and collar. “Currently, I’m finding it difficult to think of anything.”

“Anything?” He punctuates the question with a teasing suck on the sensitive spot on Cas’ collar close to his shoulder.

Cas shivers a little, suddenly aware of the light ghosting of Dean’s fingers on his hip bones. “Maybe I can think of a few things.”

He feels Dean grin against his skin and kiss his way back up his neck and to his lips. Cas frames Dean’s jaw with his hands and deepens the kiss, pulling Dean closer and rocking their bodies together. “Wanna take a shower?” The boyish teasing tone of Dean’s voice makes Castiel grin and nod as he presses another kiss to Dean’s lips. “Come on.” Dean pulls back with a wink and playfully taps Cas on the ass as he rolls out of bed. Dean grabs a condom from the table before going into the bathroom after Cas.

Cas is already letting the heat of the water rush over him when Dean joins him in the shower. Even though they fucked an hour ago, and it's still not even noon, Cas’ nerves light up with excitement as Dean wraps his arms around him and presses him against the cool tile. Cas scratches his blunt nails down from Dean’s shoulder blades to his lower back and Dean lets out a soft growl against the skin of his neck.

They rut their wet hips together as the water rushes over Dean’s shoulders and between their bodies, both getting lost in the sensations. Cas clings to Dean tightly and brings their lips together, their tongues sliding together as naturally as their bodies. Dean’s fingers digging into his hips and the meat of his ass make him feel almost owned in a way, and Cas thinks even if the water was freezing, he’d still be burning up in Dean’s arms.

They rut against each other seamlessly- almost desperate in their movements- for who knows how long, just kissing and feeling each other. Dean finally breaks their kiss and focuses his lips and teeth on the side of Cas’ neck, the hollow of his collar, his chest. Cas lets his head fall back against the hard, unforgiving tile and moans Dean’s name. Dean reaches between them and slowly strokes Castiel’s hardness and Cas clutches at Dean’s shoulders. “Oh, _fuck me_ ,” he breathes.

Dean grins and nips at the sensitive spot on his shoulder. “Did you forget about our deal?” Cas lets out a shaky laugh and opens his eyes to watch Dean’s mischievous smile. Dean kisses him again and gives Cas a pointed tug, and Cas moans a little louder. “You're gonna fuck me.” Dean kisses over Cas’ jaw and over to his ear, where he gives a gentle bite on the lobe. “I want you to fuck me like you mean it, baby.” Cas lets out a long breath and lets his eyes flutter closed. He's getting lost somewhere in the feeling- the heat of the pulsating water numbing his skin, but every touch and every breath, every sound from Dean lights his senses up again. “I want you to let loose and fuck me like you never want me to forget.”

That's really all it takes. The fire in Castiel’s gut surges higher, and he lets out a long groan before he’s moving and flipping them to Dean has his back to the tile. He may have moved a little too harshly, Dean’s head smacked the tile quite audibly, but if the devilish grin on his lips and pink blush on his chest is any indicator, Cas did just fine. Cas kisses him quickly, fingers tugging at his hair and scraping down Dean’s neck and over his pecs. Cas moves his lips to Dean’s collar and down his chest to toy with his nipples. Dean’s back arches into his touch, as he chants Cas’ name encouragingly. Cas moves one hand to Dean’s cock and strokes him while he uses his other hand to run up and down Dean’s thigh. Dean moans and fists a handful of Cas’ hair.

Cas drops to his knees and Dean spreads his legs naturally. Cas wants to watch as he sucks Dean’s cock, as he fingers Dean open, but the water is hitting the side of his face and there’s no way he can keep his eyes open. He reaches for whatever’s the closest thing to lube (conditioner, at the moment) and puts some on his fingers as he takes Dean’s cock in his mouth. “Fuck, Cas,” Dean groans as he lets his head fall back. Cas sucks him expertly, bobbing his head and dragging his lips up slowly so they swell around Dean’s cock. He can tell Dean’s watching by the way his knees tremble at the sight. “So fucking hot.” Cas’ other hand finds Dean’s hole and rubs at it, his thumb gently massaging the back of Dean’s balls. The grasp on Cas’ hair tightens, sending sharp sensations down his spine, and he moans a little.

The first push of Cas’ middle finger goes straight to the hilt and Dean lets out a long groan. Cas knows Dean wants this hard, and he's determined to give it to him. He pulls his finger out and pushes back in faster and faster, his mouth working on Dean at speeds to match. Dean’s knees wobble as he slides down the wall slightly to get more. Cas sucks Dean all the way, until his nose is flat against Dean’s skin and pushes a second finger in at the same time and Dean lets out a choked-off squeak. The fingers in his hair tug harshly and Cas is pulled off and the heavy stream of water hits his face. Through his ear that _isn't_ being hit by the water, he can hear Dean groaning and cursing, saying he's close and doesn't want to come yet. Cas smiles and kisses over Dean’s hips as he continues to fuck his fingers into Dean with abandon.

Cas bites over Dean’s hips and thighs, gently squeezing over every inch of skin his free hand can touch as he thrusts in a third finger. Dean’s back arches as he slides further down the wall, pushing his hips down on Cas’ hand eagerly. “God, you're so- _uhn!_ ” Cas hits Dean’s prostate and Dean throws his head back again, pounding his fist against the wall. Cas stands up and keeps fucking Dean with his fingers, angling it perfectly every time to hit Dean’s sweet spot (mostly as payback for the times Dean fucks him senseless and gets him begging for more). “Huh-f- _uh_ -! Fuh- _fuck_ -” Dean babbles incoherently. Cas grins to himself and kisses over Dean’s shoulders and up his neck, bringing his knees to hold up Dean’s inner thighs as he slides his pinky finger along with his other three. “ _I'm gonna come_ ,” Dean warns as his eyes shoot open. “No, no, _fucking Christ_ -” Dean reaches between them quickly and wraps a tight hand around the base of his cock to stave off his orgasm. “Jesus, Cas, you need to fuck me now.”

Cas smiles and takes his fingers out of Dean slowly (maybe letting them drag against Dean’s prostate pointedly on the way out) and kisses him deeply. “As you wish,” he murmurs against Dean’s lips. Dean lets out a shaky breath and Cas relishes in the fact that he can do this to him. “I just have to get a condom.”

“No, I-” Dean says breathlessly. He pushes Cas slightly out of the way and reaches behind the curtain to pick up a condom. Dean opens it and slides it onto Cas’ cock with a suck to his neck. Cas sighs and lets Dean jerk him slowly for a moment, enjoying Dean’s lips on his neck and hands on him. “Bet you're gonna fuck me so good, Cas.”

“Of course, Dean,” Cas replies as he takes Dean’s lips between his. He gently tugs on Dean’s lips with his teeth and drags his lips over Dean’s slowly as he pulls away. “You always fuck me until I can't even see straight,” Cas breathes hotly into Dean’s mouth. “You're so good to me, Dean, I'm going to be good to you.”

Cas can feel the ragged breath that gets caught in Dean’s throat at the sentiment and chases his groan with his mouth before flipping Dean so his chest is to the wall. Dean lets out a chuckle and wiggles his hips as Cas slicks himself up with some more conditioner. (It isn't ideal, but they're also in the shower, so you compromise.) “You're awesome, Cas,” Dean says with a smile as he braces himself on the wall. Cas smiles in return and kisses over Dean’s shoulders and back as he pushes in. “So _fucking_ awesome.”

Cas knows Dean likes it the same way Cas likes it: rough and fast and hard. He doesn't bother going slow at first, Dean’s experienced enough to not need it. The first harsh thrust of his hips and Dean’s squeezing his eyes shut and fingers are desperately clutching at the flat wall. Cas moves his hips quicker, fucking into Dean the way he fucks him, and Dean’s moaning and pushing his hips back adamantly. Dean’s hands move on the wall like they're searching for something to grab ahold of, so Cas moves his hands to the wall and Dean covers his hands instantly, fingers locking in place. Cas pushes his forehead into Dean’s back and breathes heavily with effort, watches as Dean takes it upon himself to bounce his ass on Castiel’s cock and roll his hips in figure-eights until they're both dizzy.

Cas steadies his footing and thrusts up to meet each of Dean’s until they're setting a feverish pace. The hard, rhythmic sound of their bodies slapping together is loud in the tiny bathroom, the water pounding against their skin makes it somehow even louder, and yet their matching groans drown all of that noise out. Cas is losing himself in the heat of everything, the steam so thick in the air that their skin is red and numb, the beautiful sounds of Dean chanting his name like a prayer and encouraging him to fuck harder and faster (though Dean’s the one pushing back so hard, Cas is just trying to stand upright). If Dean’s hands weren't still locked on top of his, Cas probably would've fallen backwards by now. He was so close, so overwhelmed, and he was pleading Dean unconsciously. Cas’ face buried between Dean’s shoulder blades, panting and grazing his teeth against his skin, he groaned loudly. “ _Please_ , God, fuck- ah, _De-ee-an_ -!”

“Shit, yeah, Cas, you feel so fucking good- _fuck_ ,” Dean moans with abandon, his ass bouncing back on Cas erratically and losing rhythm. Cas grits his teeth and angles his hips to hit Dean’s prostate and Dean smacks his head against the tile with a broken grunt. “ _Fuck yeah, Cas, right there_ \- harder!” Dean’s babbling under his breath, fucking himself back on Cas’ dick at the same angle fervently. The grip of his hands almost dare to cut off the circulation to Castiel’s fingers as he starts to let out a scream. “Fuck! Fu- _hah-_!” Dean’s hips stutter as he lets out a long, broken groan. “ _Jesus fucking Christ._ ”

Cas’ hips slow for a second as Dean sputters his way through the rest of his orgasm, his whole body shaking with effort. “Dean,” Cas breathes.

“Keep fucking me, Cas,” Dean moans as he rolls his hips back. Cas lets out a deep breath and bites down on the meat of Dean’s upper back and towards his shoulder. “ _Fuck yeah_ , baby, just like that.”

Cas uses the momentum of Dean’s hips to propel faster into Dean’s ass and Dean moans wantonly with every thrust, urging him on. Cas lets out a string of soft moans, desperately chasing the fire in his gut and squeezing his eyes shut. In the back of his consciousness, he hears Dean order him to come, and he does immediately. “De- _Dean- ah!_ ” He pushes deep inside of Dean and moans as he buries his face in Dean’s neck. Dean rolls his hips back in circles and Cas shudders against him, his knees daring to give out and if it weren't for Dean’s hands holding him up, they probably would have. “Oh my God,” he breathes heavily.

Dean chuckles and eases his grip on Cas’ hands, running his fingers down Cas’ forearms soothingly. “ _Wow_ ,” is all he says as he catches his breath.

Cas shudders again and smiles, kissing lazily in the crook of Dean’s neck. “How was that?”

“You're _asking_?” Dean turns around and brings their lips together chastely. “Unbelievable.” Cas blushes slightly, his collar growing hotter despite his skin feeling numb from the constant pressure of water on them. They kiss and sway together in a daze before Cas becomes aware of how shriveled his fingers are becoming.

Dean moves to grab the shampoo and Cas discards the used condom in the waste bin outside of the shower. Cas lets Dean wash his hair and massage his scalp, his back resting against Dean’s front. Dean hums his “shower song,” as Castiel refers to it in his mind, and Cas has half a mind to fall asleep. Dean takes some of the extra suds from Cas’ hair and rubs it on his own head, and Cas turns to rinse his hair while he lifts a hand to scratch gently over Dean’s scalp. He gives one of Dean’s ears a little flick when he's done (he can't help himself, they're adorable) and Dean rinses his head off and brings Cas back in for another kiss. They grin and kiss chastely before lathering each other up and massaging the soap into each other’s skin lazily.

The men get out of the shower and towel off before heading back into the bedroom. Cas goes for the dresser, but arms wrap tightly around his waist and hoist him up, slinging him onto the bed. Dean and Cas flop onto the bed and Dean rolls on top of Cas. “ _Dean_ ,” Cas says through a fit of laughter. Dean grins and kisses down his neck and over his shoulders. “Are you serious?”

Dean chuckles against his skin and runs his hands up Cas’ stomach. “Give me like 30 minutes and I can be serious.”

“You're insatiable.” Cas says it with monotonous exasperation, but grins at Dean anyways.

Dean kisses his lips and returns the smile. “I don't hear you bitchin’.” Cas huffs a laugh and shakes his head, kissing Dean briefly before Dean rolls off and onto his back. Cas pats him on the side of his hip before getting up to get dressed. Dean sighs and relaxes on the bed, a hand behind his head. “You know how long it's been since I've fucked like this? Since I've felt this good?” Cas smiles to himself and shucks on a pair of boxer briefs and loose jeans. He turns his head enough to see Dean watching him like he usually does when Cas gets dressed on the mornings after he stays the night. “Let's just say it's been a while,” Dean answers his own rhetorical question.

Cas pulls on his softest sweater and goes back to the bed to straddle Dean’s lap, just sitting. “I think…” Cas starts quietly, looking down at his index fingers as they shyly trace shapes on Dean’s sternum. “I think this is most likely the best I've ever felt.” The sentence probably doesn't mean much to anyone, but Cas has a hard time saying it anyways; the sentiment itself doesn't come naturally to Cas, but he knows this would be a prime opportunity to try and show Dean he is capable of expressing a feeling- however insignificant it may be.

Dean hasn't said anything, just kept his hands resting on Castiel’s denim-covered thighs as Cas stares at his own hands. Cas glances up at Dean’s face and he's smiling softly, just watching Castiel’s expression. Cas tilts his head, silently asking why Dean is looking at him this way. Dean’s smile widens a little and he shrugs one shoulder. “You're just cute.”

Cas squints and Dean runs his hands up Cas’ back and down the back of his arms, pulling their torsos together. He kisses Cas sweetly, thumbs gently stroking Castiel’s triceps over the cloth of his sweater. Dean gives Cas’ lips a few chaste pecks before grinning and tousling Castiel’s wet hair. Cas smiles and sits up, unseating himself from Dean’s lap, not bothering to wonder what his wet mop of hair looks like. “So it's only one, and I have to run some errands since it's my last day off-”

“Want me to get out of your hair?” Dean stands up and wraps his towel more securely around his waist.

Cas slips on his comfortable shoes and scratches his scruff absently. “That decision is up to you. I'm not sure of your schedule.”

“I don't work until tomorrow morning,” Dean returns with a small smile. He reaches a hand up to rake over his head and Cas takes a moment to appreciate Dean’s body. (Really, the man is a masterpiece.)

“Well, the outing won't be anything interesting, but if you choose not to leave, I can buy you lunch.”

“It's a date.” Dean punctuates the sentence with a quick wink. “I'm fresh out of clothes, though.” Cas gestures to his dresser and moves to let Dean pick out whatever he wants to wear. Cas goes out to the kitchen and grabs a glass of water. “ _Holy crap!_ ” Dean exclaims from the other room. Dean walks out of the bedroom in a simple outfit of Castiel’s jeans and a tee shirt. “Dude, you actually fit in these?”

Cas chuckles and watches as Dean tries to bend over a few times to stretch the fabric of the jeans. “Your ass is bigger than mine.” Cas finishes his glass of water and refills his cup. “They look like they fit, though. They hug you nicely.”

Dean smirks smugly and nods. “You're goddamn right they do.” He punctuates the sentence with a small smack to his butt. Cas fights back a laugh and rolls his eyes.

After the men finish getting ready, Dean drives them to wherever Cas needs to go. He's still in a ridiculously good mood, and it makes Castiel’s usually-boring errands go by much faster. Dean’s always quick to make a joke (however lame the joke might be); he sings at the top of his lungs to the radio (even if he's off-key), and he has no problem talking to the customer service employees for Cas when Castiel can't properly express his problems in a “polite manner.” Having Dean around is really starting to make everything a lot easier, and somewhere in the back of Cas’ mind he lets himself hope that Dean won't grow bored of him and move on to the next town anytime soon.

They leave the bank, which is the last of Cas’ errands and decide to grab a late lunch. They get seated at a booth in the corner; Dean orders a beer with his burger and Cas gets water with his. Dean relaxes with his back to the wall, one arm slung over the back of his seat and taps his fingers on the table to the beat of the song playing. Dean starts explaining the history of the football team playing on the screen at the bar, but he stops when he realizes Cas can't really pretend to be all that interested in sports.

Despite Cas not giving Dean a whole lot to work with as far as fun goes, Dean still maintains his sunny disposition. Cas tilts his head at Dean skeptically. “Why are you in such a good mood?”

Dean raises an eyebrow to him. “What, a guy can't be in a good mood every once in awhile?” Dean sips his beer and wipes his face.

“It's not that.” Cas gets cut off by their waitress bringing them their dishes. They thank her before she leaves, and Cas tries to find his words when Dean digs into his burger. “I was just wondering,” he finishes quietly.

He takes small bites from his burger and focuses his eyes on his plate, ignoring the way Dean watches him. “Cas, if something’s eating you…”

Cas settles back further in his seat and presses his lips tight together. If he's honest, the only thing that's bothering him is his horrible preconditioning to assume the worst is always yet to come. Dean hasn't given him a reason to think he’s bored by Cas, but with Castiel’s history, it's a natural assumption. Cas scolds himself for even caring because they're not together, and this isn't a relationship; Dean and Cas are just casually dating.

Cas shakes his head, dismissing Dean’s question. “So, our conversation this morning…” Cas looks up at Dean expectantly as he chews his food. “Is the floor still open?” Castiel nods with his mouth full. “I wanna know the most exciting thing that's happened since you became a surgeon.”

Cas swallows his food down with some of his water and delves into a story from a few years ago; he was on-call that night and was in the middle of getting his first hour’s worth of sleep in a 50-hour time period when a severe head trauma came into the ER. It was a horrible accident, everyone in the two cars sustained injuries. The head trauma belonged to a little girl around twelve years old; she was losing a lot of blood, bleeding internally, and she was having trouble getting oxygen to her brain. Everyone was running around trying to get all of the patients under care, and Cas was left with a small team of nurses to rush the girl to surgery. Up to that night, Cas had only led his own surgery in his field once before.

The surgery itself was so stressful, Cas thought they would lose the girl at least three different times. Her body was weak, she kept losing oxygen and Cas was concerned even if she did make it through surgery, she would suffer from a tremendous amount of brain damage. If she lived, Cas couldn't even be sure she could gain back all of her motor functions. The pressure he put on himself only added to the stress of the surgery, and it lasted longer than it should have. After almost ten hours of surgery and one flatline, they finally managed to close her up and send her off to recover.

Though Cas had been awake for over 65 hours straight, he still didn't sleep. He stayed close by the ICU constantly, always checking in on the patient and tracking her progress. Her parents were nice people, Cas visited with them as well. They didn't take kindly to the possibility of their daughter not making it out of the coma (and Castiel will never forget the looks on their faces when he had to tell them that). He would go to the on-call room and rest his eyes for an hour or two every so often, but it was mostly useless. Finally, though, the girl woke up three days after her surgery. Cas was checking her IV when he saw her eyes flutter open weakly, and he immediately started crying, not aware of how attached he had become to the well-being of this one patient. They monitored her progress closely in the following days, and she eventually managed to make a full recovery.

Cas lets out a deep breath after he finishes his story and looks up from his empty plate to see Dean’s still unwaveringly interested expression. “I'm sorry, I probably went on longer than necessary.” (He does that sometimes.)

Dean shakes his head. “No, just… Holy _crap_.” Cas gives him a half smile and Dean huffs in disbelief. “You are a goddamn superhero, dude.”

Cas smiles slightly and Dean holds up his beer to clink his glass. “I think that was definitely the most stressed I have ever been in my life,” Cas adds after sipping his water.

“I can imagine,” Dean remarks with raised eyebrows as he finishes his food. “I deal with emergencies every day. Accidents, traumas, burns, gashes, broken bones- all of that every day. But that kind of dedication to one patient…” Dean shakes his head again and sips his beer. He settles back in his seat and looks at Cas with a look of admiration in his eyes. “You're kinda awesome, you know that?”

Cas tilts his head in contemplation. “It's our jobs,” he returns simply. “You save countless people every day, Dean. You're the one who’s on-sight, and you're the one who has to make sure the patients can even make it to the hospital. It's our jobs to be awesome because people’s lives depend on it.”

Dean grins down at his hand resting on the rim of his glass. “I like that.” He shifts his smile to Cas and licks his lips. “You're a cool dude, Cas.” Castiel smiles and puts his chin on his hands, resting his elbows on the table. “Don't get me wrong, you're a little weird, but I like you.”

“You're definitely not the first person to call me strange.” Cas lets his eyes linger on Dean’s features as Dean watches the TV by the bar absently. _Return the sentiment._ “I like you too, Dean.” Dean doesn't respond and only turns back to him enough to give him a little wink and a half-smile.

After Cas pays for their meal, they drive back to Castiel’s apartment and Dean insists on helping him with his bags, even though there's only two. They get into his apartment and Dean stands awkwardly in Cas’ kitchen after Cas moves to get comfortable.

“Hey, so…” Dean starts as he scratches the back of his head. Cas looks over to him expectantly as he takes off his shoes. “You probably, uh…”

“Dean, you're welcome to come and go as you please, if that's why you're acting strange.” Dean nods in understanding and makes himself comfortable. Cas smiles inwardly and relaxes on the couch, letting Dean turn on whatever he wants to watch and relaxing next to him. Dean puts on his medical drama show and settles into Cas’ side. “ _Dr. Sexy_?”

“Hey, if you don't wanna watch it-”

“No, no. I'm going to watch this and try to embrace it.” Dean shrugs and they settle in. Cas focuses on the show with laser-intensity, also minding the reactions from Dean when certain things happen. The episode ends and Cas sees the sun go down from outside his sliding glass door. Another episode comes on, one that reminds him of something that actually did happen at work once; Cas starts telling Dean about it (probably rambling endlessly), and Dean nods along as his head slowly makes its way to resting on Cas’ lap.

After that episode, Cas finds himself completely sucked into the program. He hasn't become attached to a show in a long time (hasn't had the time, honestly), but he has to admit that Dean’s show was addicting. He absently grazes his fingers over Dean’s temple, through his hair, and up and down Dean’s arm. Cas begins rambling about a theory he has regarding one of Dr. Sexy’s rivals and doesn't notice when Dean doesn't respond. It takes Dean snoring softly to knock Cas out of his trance.

Cas looks down and watches Dean’s eyes flutter as he sleeps peacefully. He smiles softly and takes a few moments to appreciate the freckles on his cheek and the gentle wrinkles at the corner of his eye. Cas smoothes a hand over Dean’s temple and the side of his head before relaxing further in his spot and resting his hand on Dean’s shoulder.

He finishes another episode before turning off the tv and squeezing down on Dean’s shoulder. “Dean,” he whispers. Dean snores as he opens one eye sleepily. Cas smiles inwardly. “Let’s go to bed.” Dean doesn’t so much as respond as he does rub his eye and nod as he sits up. He looks so precious and young as he does that; it’s profoundly adorable, Cas thinks. They make their way into the bedroom and Dean takes his pants off before crawling under the covers. Cas strips to his boxers and follows suit.

“C’mere,” Dean mumbles as he holds his arm out in invitation. Cas presses up against Dean’s side and kisses Dean gently. Dean keeps one hand on the small of Cas’ back and uses the other to cup his cheek, thumb grazing over Cas’ cheekbone as they kiss. They kiss chastely until Cas is breathless. He rests his forehead against Dean’s temple and Dean presses another kiss to the corner of his lips. He runs his hand through the side of Cas’ hair and down his neck, silently pulling Cas to rest his his face in the crook of Dean’s neck. Cas nestles closer and tangles their legs together comfortably. “G’night, Cas.”

Dean presses a brief kiss to Castiel’s forehead before squeezing him tighter. The hand Cas has resting on Dean grazes absently over his collar and the side of his neck. Cas returns a brief kiss to the skin closest to his lips. “Goodnight, Dean.”

The next morning, it’s back to normal. No more sleeping in, no time for morning sex- Castiel’s two days off are over. His alarm blares incessantly until he smacks it off, waking before the sun. He groans and rolls onto his back, staring at the ceiling. Dean has his face buried in his pillow, but gracelessly flops his arm so he can put his hand on Cas’ chest. “Wake up,” Dean grumbles almost unintelligibly. Cas hums in response, not wanting to speak. Dean takes a deep breath before picking his head up from the bed. His features scrunch together sleepily. “Mornin’.”

Cas blinks heavily and tries to rub the sleep from his eyes. “Good morning, Dean,” he returns in a gravelly voice from behind his hands. He gives Dean a weak smile before getting up and sliding into a clean pair of scrubs. Cas trudges his way to the kitchen to get his cup of coffee and walks out to the balcony, and it’s raining pretty hard. Luckily, the balcony is covered because he loves sitting outside when it’s raining.

To his surprise, though, Dean joins him with his own cup of coffee a few minutes later and sits next to him in silence. Dean’s already dressed in his paramedic uniform, hair fixed with products Cas probably has stowed away in the bathroom cabinet. Cas takes a few moments to appreciate the way Dean’s shirt hugs his biceps. “Now I know why you let me stay the night,” Dean says, breaking the silence. Cas sips his coffee and tilts his head at Dean. “You just want a hot piece to ogle in the mornings. Don’t worry, I’m not mad. I just thought we had something special is all.” Apparently, it’s too early for Cas to register Dean’s sarcasm. He’s about to rebut when Dean grins at him.

“Oh.” Cas finishes his coffee and nods. “Yes, that’s exactly what it is. I’m sorry to have led you on,” he deadpans. Dean lets out a small laugh as Cas goes back inside. Cas finishes his routine, grabs his to-go coffee and he and Dean walk out to Dean’s car together. The ride over is quiet, but Dean keeps one hand slung over the back of the seat and lets his fingers brush over the nape of Cas’ neck. Dean stops the car at the front of the hospital and Cas unbuckles his seatbelt. “Thank you for the past two days. They were nice.”

Dean smiles and brings Cas in for a kiss that starts gentle but becomes deeper. It’s too early for the flutter in Cas’ chest. Dean pulls back and gives him another brief peck on the lips. “Anytime.” Cas lets out a shaky breath and returns Dean’s smile. “I’ll see you around,” he says with a quick wink- a gesture Cas can’t help but melt at (and Dean winks pretty often, it’s probably unhealthy to melt this much).

He goes back to work feeling refreshed, although a little sad that his mini-vacation had to end. Work goes much as it always does, his shifts are too long and too strenuous. His feet ache at the end of every day, but if he’s lucky, he gets to save a life, and that always makes it worth it. Cas doesn’t get to see Dean for another week and a half; both of them have conflicting schedules with work, and then Dean leaves to visit Ben for a few days.

Cas hadn’t realized that at some point, he’d grown to actually like Dean’s company more than being alone. He reminds himself that they’re not in a relationship, so he doesn’t need to feel attached to Dean’s presence. The reminder doesn’t actually help in any way, but it can’t hurt to tell himself.

When Dean gets back from Michigan, he takes an extra day off (“for the drive back,” Dean tells his boss) and spends it holed up with Cas in his apartment. After their work schedules return to normal, it’s easier to find time to spend together. One of them usually texts something as simple as _“Come over,”_ or _“See you in ten,”_ to set their plans. Most of the time when Dean comes over, it’s pants-off within ten minutes; other times, either Dean will make dinner or they’ll order food, and spend the evening watching movies or watching the _Dr. Sexy_ episodes Cas records on his DVR. Sometimes Dean only has a few hours between shifts, so he’ll come over just to sleep and Cas will sit up in bed next to him and read. It’s all very domestic, and all something Cas never pictured he would fall into.

Cas is just getting out of a particularly strenuous craniotomy to reduce an intracerebral hematoma and making a beeline straight for the coffee shop when Dean comes up behind him and tickles his sides. Cas jumps a little and turns around expectantly. He’s met with Dean’s bright smile and Cas almost forgets to be mad at him for the public affection. “What are you doing?” Cas whispers.

“I just wanted to come say hey before we go back to the station,” Dean says with a shrug, putting his hands in his pockets as they walk together to the coffee shop. “Sorry, I forgot you’re not into the whole PDA thing.”

Cas gives a small frustrated sigh and orders his coffee, silently gesturing for Dean to order one as well and paying for both. They move to the side and wait, and Cas lowers his voice. “I told you it’s not personal, Dean. I don’t want to bring our… Personal situation into the workplace. It’s unprofessional. Especially given the fact that we’re not-”

The barista places their coffees in front of them and Cas stops rambling before he says something regrettable. “We’re not what, Cas?” Cas bites down on his tongue and shakes his head slightly. Dean’s jaw ticks as he clenches his teeth, but his expression isn’t angry. He turns his head to look outside. “Do you have time to talk?”

Cas nods because he doesn’t have anything scheduled for another hour or so. He follows Dean outside, slightly uneased by Dean’s demeanor. Dean holds his coffee by his side and uses the other to swipe over his mouth and jaw. “Dean, what’s wrong?”

Dean huffs a humorless laugh and stares at the wall next to Cas. “Y’know, I’ve been trying to figure that out. When I was younger, I wasn’t the most dependable guy, and I didn’t wanna get tied down- and in another life, I’d probably be the guy who runs away from commitment and refuses to talk about his feelings. But that’s not how my mom raised me. I want-” Dean gestures with his hands, trying to grab onto words that aren’t there. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head. Cas watches him closely, still not entirely sure where this rant is going. “I have no idea how to read you, man.”

Cas squints at him in confusion. “How do you mean?”

“It’s like… I don’t know if you’re just not catching the net, or if you’re seriously not into me. Because, dude, I _really_ don’t know if I can make it any more obvious.”

“Dean…” It hits him that Dean’s only concern is whether or not Cas has feelings for him, and Cas’ eyes fall from Dean’s face. “I tried to explain that this is difficult for me. I don’t pick up on these things very quickly, and I- of course, I am interested. I’m sorry that I can’t properly express that.”

“I’m sorry,” Dean says with a sigh. He rubs his fingers over the bridge of his nose. “I didn’t mean to be so harsh. It’s just… We’ve been doing this whole casual thing for months, and I figured something would happen eventually.”

“Are you breaking up with me?” Cas asks suddenly, before he can even stop himself.

Dean’s eyes find his again and Dean gives him a small, sad smile. “No, Cas. That’s your call. I’m just putting myself out there.”

“I see.” Cas nods slightly and sips his neglected coffee. He opens his mouth to say something he hasn’t quite figured out yet, and Dean’s pager goes off.

Dean checks it and sighs. “Can we finish this tonight?” Cas presses his lips tight together and nods. Dean looks like he’s inwardly debating something, reaching a hand up towards Cas and abandoning the movement halfway through. “I’ll, uh- I’ll see you later.”

Cas watches him walk away and gives him a tiny wave. He deflates a little as he turns to go back to work. He obsesses for the duration of the remainder of his shift. (How could he not obsess? Is Dean going to give him an ultimatum? Of course, Cas doesn’t want things to end. He likes Dean a lot, but Dean will inevitably grow tired of Cas. They often find their work schedules conflicting, and Cas isn’t as available emotionally as Dean will need eventually. Cas can’t take getting cheated on again- not that Dean _would_ , but it’s happened before…)

After a few hours of his mind running nonstop, he gets home to his apartment and he lets Dean know he can come over. Cas takes a shower while he waits for Dean (still partially debating what he’s decided) and puts on a comfortable pair of lounge pants. Dean’s there almost as soon as he’s dressed, and Cas lets him in. Dean seems more at ease, but maybe that’s just Castiel’s subconscious hope projecting.

“Do you need something to drink?” Cas asks quickly. “I need something to drink. Wine? Beer? Water? Coffee? Coffee, perhaps-” Cas continues quietly as he moves to the cabinet.

“Uh, I think you don’t need anymore coffee. A beer is fine,” Dean answers as he relaxes against the backside of the sofa. Cas nods, getting a beer for Dean as Dean toes off his shoes. Cas walks over to Dean, handing him the beer and shifting uncomfortably on his feet. “Have you thought about what I said at all?”

“Of course,” Cas returns immediately. Dean looks relieved and drinks from his bottle. “I’ve been thinking a lot. I do like you, Dean, it’s just-”

Dean lets out a heavy sigh. “There it is.”

Cas pauses and watches as Dean studies his hands picking at the label on the bottle. “There’s what?”

“There’s the ‘but.’ There’s always a ‘but.’” Dean takes a longer drink from his bottle and Cas watches him closely. “Don’t worry about it. I get it, man. Y’know, you… You just wanna keep your options open.”

Cas tilts his head and furrows his brow. “Dean, I don’t feel the need to keep my options open.” Dean looks up at him expectantly. “I hardly have time to date _you_ , why would I want to date other people?”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“It’s not a problem, it’s only that… I don’t care to keep _my_ options open, but I want _you_ to keep _your_ options open.” He means it with all sincerity, which is why he’s so surprised when Dean lets out a loud laugh. Cas squints at him incredulously. “I don’t understand why you’re laughing.”

Dean’s laugh quiets and he smiles at Cas before sipping his beer. “Cas, I’m almost 36 years old. I have a son and an ex-wife, for God’s sake. Why would I want to keep dating?” Cas doesn’t understand completely, so Dean continues. “I’m too old for this shit, man. I like you. I like dating you. You make me feel better than I have in years. I just… I like how easy it is with us, y’know? And I don’t want to date anyone else.”

The sentiment excites Cas, but he at least has to voice his concerns. He’s been bitten too many times in the past. “You’re going to get bored with me,” Cas says quietly. “I’m too busy with work to devote my time to you, and you’ll…”

“I doubt our schedules will change much from what they are now. I think we see each other a good amount.”

Cas can feel his heart racing, and he starts to panic with the assumption that Dean’s going to offer him an ultimatum. “Okay, Dean. I’m unsure of what the correct decision is, and I am- honestly, I am afraid I’ll make the wrong decision. I know that I’m very busy, and I have troubles emotionally being there for someone in the ways that they need, but- but- I do- I love our time together, and… If it’s between losing you now, or committing to you now and then losing you-””

Dean sets his bottle down quickly and puts his hands on Cas’ shoulders. “Hey, look at me.” Cas calms himself and looks at Dean. “I’m not trying to pressure you. I should’ve brought this up another way. I’m sorry. I just wanted...” Dean’s words trail off as he searches for the rest of his sentence.

“I don’t understand,” Cas responds honestly.

“I just wanted to talk, man. I wanted to see where you were at.” Cas nods and Dean lets his hands fall to his sides. “And obviously you’re not where I’m at.” The tone of his words is obviously deflated, losing confidence in the conversation. “Look, I’m not saying that I love you. I’m not even saying we need to commit to something right now-”

Cas can feel the emotions weighing at his heart. “But, Dean, I don’t want you to leave.” The honesty of his declaration leaves him feeling exposed, and he’s not sure that he likes the feeling.

“You think you can shake me that easy?” Dean grins at him slightly and nods at Cas, opening his hands in gesture. “C’mere.” Cas lets Dean pull him in and wraps his arms easily around Dean’s waist and nestles his forehead in the crook of Dean’s neck. Dean’s hands run up and down Cas’ back soothingly. “You don’t need to decide anything right now. I just want you to keep an open mind, is all.”

Cas nods slightly and lets Dean continue to rub his back. “What happens when you get tired of waiting for me?”

He feels Dean smile and press his lips to the top of his head. “You’ll come around.” Cas wants to ask how Dean can be so sure, how he can have so much confidence that they have a future, but he doesn’t. “Don’t count me out, Cas. That’s all I’m asking.”

Cas pauses for a moment. Dean’s not asking for something right this second; he’ll have time to decide if he actually wants to be together while he waits for Cas to come around. “Okay,” Cas decides. Dean leans back a little and Cas leans back to look at him. “I’ll keep an open mind.”

Dean grins. “Yeah?” Cas nods and Dean’s smile widens as if he’s already won. Dean kisses him sweetly and Cas finds himself melting into it quickly. “Kinda surprised that didn’t scare you off.”

Dean smiles against his lips as the continue to kiss. “Of course not, Dean.” They sway a little bit and Dean rests his hands on the small of Cas’ back near his hips. Cas holds onto him tighter and sighs into their kiss. “I’m sorry I made you doubt my affections.”

Cas’ hands find their way up Dean’s torso and rest on the sides of Dean’s neck, pulling him closer. He drags his lips lightly across Dean’s as he pulls back. Dean grins and teases Castiel’s lips with a shy tongue behind his teeth. “I can think of a few ways you could…” Cas smiles and lets his teeth graze against Dean’s bottom lip. “-Make it up to me.”

Cas hums and nods, kissing Dean deeper. Dean sighs and presses their bodies closer, his hands a gentle weight on Castiel’s hips. Cas tears his lips away from Dean’s and moves his kisses to the column of Dean’s throat. He sucks a small mark on Dean’s jugular and grins when it earns him a shiver from the other man. “I think I can do that,” he murmurs against Dean’s skin. Cas brings his fingers to gracefully tease the buttons of Dean’s work shirt open, dragging the tips of his fingers on the skin underneath with every newly undone button.

Dean’s breath comes ragged with every manipulation of Cas’ lips or his fingers. He shifts his legs slightly to allow Cas to stand closer against his body, and Cas frees enough buttons to pull Dean’s collar to the side. He drags his teeth over the exposed, tan skin of Dean’s collarbone and gently bites down, teasing the skin with his tongue. He feels Dean’s chest quiver under his steady hand. “So this is what it feels like?” Cas hums in question and sucks a bruise onto Dean’s shoulder. “When I tease you to the point where you’re begging me to fuck you?”

Cas huffs a laugh against the skin he was just working with his lips and Dean lets his head fall back slightly. “I didn’t think begging was your style, Dean.” He moves his fingers back to Dean’s stomach to resume working at his buttons with a painfully slow pace, and he runs his palms up and down Dean’s lower stomach briefly. “But I can fuck you, if you’d like,” he adds in a low, even voice. He can feel Dean’s chest heave under his mouth and Cas smiles to himself.

He finally works open the last of Dean’s shirt buttons and lets his first two fingers roam the soft skin of Dean’s stomach and tease the waistline of his slacks. Cas uses his other hand to push the white fabric off one of Dean’s shoulders and kisses his way across the expanse of freckled skin. He takes a moment to silently appreciate how truly magnificent Dean is physically; it’s something he’s sure he’ll never get over. Dean’s not perfect by societal standards- he’s got a slight farmers tan, wrinkles teasing at the corners of his eyes and sides of his lips, and his tummy is soft instead of hard with muscle- but Cas loves everything about his body. Cas has always had a thing for classic movie stars, and Dean looks like he’s straight out of _Rebel Without A Cause_. Needless to say, Cas was appreciative.

Dean’s hands on his hips finally move up to Cas’ back and scratch at his back slightly. The hand Cas has on the waistline of Dean’s pants hook into the fabric and he runs his thumb across Dean’s happy trail. He feels Dean’s hips rock up in invitation, but he continues to work his lips over Dean’s shoulders, his chest, until he gets to Dean’s nipples. “ _Fuck_ ,” Dean whispers. Cas brings both of his hands to make deliberate work of Dean’s belt as he toys with Dean’s nipples between his lips. Dean’s groin ruts against his and Cas sucks a harsh bruise onto the skin of Dean’s sternum, gently biting it as he unbuttons Dean’s slacks. “You’re killin’ me.”

Cas drags his lips up the column of Dean’s neck as he drags down his zipper and punctuates the end of his movement with a kiss to Dean’s jaw. “Are you complaining?” Dean huffs a laugh that is quickly cut off when Cas presses his palm to the hard bulge contained behind Dean’s boxers. Dean groans and rocks his hips up with want. Cas works his fingers against the base of Dean’s clothed shaft and brings his other hand to Dean’s neck.

Dean quickly turns his head and connects their lips. Cas moans as Dean licks into his mouth eagerly, his hands holding onto his back tightly. “A guy can only take so much, Cas,” Dean murmurs against his lips. Cas grins and lets out a surprised yelp when Dean’s hands move quickly to the underside of his ass and hoists him up. Cas wraps his arms around Dean’s neck and his legs around Dean’s waist. Cas seals their lips together again and cards his fingers through the top of Dean’s hair as he carries him into the bedroom.

Dean lets Cas fall to the bed and Cas moves to the side of the bed, on his knees in front of Dean. Dean shucks off his shirt and tosses it aside and Cas kisses over Dean’s stomach and hips, fingers teasing the waistline of Dean’s boxers. Cas moves his lips to the sensitive skin underneath the fabric of Dean’s boxers and looks up at Dean, who is enraptured by everything Cas is doing. Cas maintains eye contact as he drags down Dean’s slacks and boxers in one motion, his lips moving to the side of Dean’s dick. A long breath escapes Dean’s wet, parted lips and Cas takes the head of Dean’s hardness between his lips and licks the precome that’s gathered there. Dean bites down on a groan and his hand finds its way to Cas’ hair. Cas closes his eyes and sucks Dean in long, deliberate movements of his head. “Oh my God,” Dean groans as he squeezes one hand on Cas’ shoulder and the other in his hair.

The weight of Dean’s hands on him urge him on, dragging his lips along Dean’s shaft and massaging his tongue along the underside of his dick, swirling circles around the head on every upward movement. He presses down, taking Dean to the back of his throat and touching his nose to the wiry hairs. Dean lets out a choked-off whine and squeezes Cas’ shoulder tightly, pulling the hairs on the top of his head sharply. Cas can’t help but moan at the sensation and pulls his mouth off of Dean. He wraps a hand around Dean’s shaft and jerks him as he catches his breath, and Dean pulls on his hair, leaning down to bring their lips together. He gives Cas’ hair another experimental tug and Cas pants against Dean’s mouth.

Dean kisses him deeper and Cas jerks Dean pointedly, earning a moan from him. Dean presses two more brief pecks to Cas before pushing him back onto the bed. In a quick movement, Cas reaches over to the bedside table and retrieves the lubricant and a condom. Dean steps out of his clothes and joins Cas on the bed, laying on top of him and kissing him. Cas hums and rolls their bodies into the rhythm of their lips, holding onto the sides of Dean’s neck and tugging on Dean’s bottom lip with his teeth. Dean grins and licks his lips, and Cas quickly turns them over so Dean’s on his back with his legs spread.

Dean lets out a breathy laugh and parts his legs wider. Cas reaches for the lube while kissing down Dean’s neck and over his chest. Cas sits up just enough to watch as he squeezes some onto his fingers and moves his hand between Dean’s legs. Dean pulls him down for another kiss and Cas pushes a finger into Dean, breathing in the gravelly moan Dean lets out. He chases it with his lips and works his finger inside Dean quicker. Cas rocks his body in time with his hand and their mouths, pushing in deep and making Dean groan every time he finds Dean’s prostate.

Cas hovers over Dean and glosses his eyes over him, admiring the part of his plump lips and the growing blush spread across his whole body as Cas pushes in a second finger. Dean rocks into the movement, and Cas is only half aware of the demand Dean growls for him to move faster. Cas does as he’s told and works his fingers in Dean at a quickened pace, and he moves down the bed, kissing along Dean’s stomach and over his thighs. “Oh, _fuck_ yeah, Cas,” Dean groans, rocking his hips up. He hisses when Cas wraps his lips around Dean’s cock again and sucks him down. “Jesus Christ.” Cas slips in a third finger as he takes Dean’s cock to the hilt and Dean fists his hands in the sheets next to them. “ _Oh fuck!_ ”

Cas pulls his mouth off just enough to look up and watch as Dean squeezes his eyes shut, losing himself in the rhythm of Cas taking him apart. (Usually it’s Dean doing this for Cas, making him scream and come harder than he ever had with anyone else, so really it’s the least he can do.) He licks and kisses up Dean’s wet and achingly hard cock and works his fingers harder. He takes Dean back in his mouth and bobs his head quickly, angling his fingers as best as he can to constantly find Dean’s prostate.

Dean’s hips are sputtering erratically, his whole body rocking into Cas’ manipulations. Cas opens his eyes to see Dean’s stomach quivering as his chest arches and falls back to the bed, chanting under his breath. “ _Shit_ , fuck, oh my God- Cas- _fuck_ , Cas- I’m-! _Holy shit_ , Cas, I’m so close,” Dean groans out. “Cas if you don’t stop- _fuck! Holy fucking shit, Cas_ -” Dean rushes out quickly. “If you don’t stop or slow down- _oh my God_.” Instead of slowing down or stopping, Cas speeds up and works him towards climax more adamantly. He pushes his fingers in hard and deep, quicker still to match the sucking of his mouth on Dean’s cock. “Fuck!” Dean yells. He falls silent, and Cas can feel Dean thrashing, his back arching high off the bed when he opens one eye to watch. “ _Cas_ -” Dean chokes out right before he’s coming with a long, guttural groan, spilling inside Castiel’s mouth. Cas sucks him softly through it, his fingers slowing to a gentle push inside of Dean. “ _Huh_ \- holy shit,” Dean lets out as his stomach quivers.

Cas pulls his mouth off of Dean with a quiet pop and kisses Dean’s lower stomach soothingly. “Do you still want me to fuck you, Dean?” Castiel murmurs against sweat-covered skin. Dean huffs a laugh and tugs him up so their faces meet, and Cas pulls his fingers from Dean.

Dean brings their lips together with a grin. “You’re so fucking awesome, Cas.” Dean kisses him deeply and runs his hands down Cas’ neck and down his chest. He nips gently at Cas’ lip and toys with one of Cas’ nipples briefly with his fingers, and Cas lets out a soft moan. “But I’ve got a better idea,” Dean whispers. Dean flips them suddenly and Cas grins before their lips reconnect.

“What are you going to do to me, Dean?” Cas mumbles, wrapping his arms around Dean’s neck.

Dean hums and kisses him deeper, his hands coming up to Cas’ hips, thumbs toying with the elastic waistband of the pajama pants. “Mm, I’m gonna unravel you.” Cas lets out a shaky breath at Dean’s words, opening his eyes enough to watch Dean’s lips. His eyes flicker up to Dean’s which are already watching him. One of Dean’s hands comes to Cas’ abdomen and palms over his skin before dipping beneath the two layers of clothing and wrapping around Cas’ dick. Cas licks his lips and sighs without breaking eye contact with Dean. “I’m gonna eat you out, finger you and suck you off until you’re panting and begging me to come,” Dean breathes in a low voice against his lips, stroking his length slowly. The words give Cas goosebumps and he nods, Dean’s head coming closer and ghosting their lips together. “And then-” Cas can feel Dean’s tongue against his teeth and his breath makes Cas shiver. “-Then when I’m hard again, I’m gonna fuck you.” Dean strokes his length and works his wrist pointedly when he finishes his sentence, and Cas moans softly. He feels Dean grin against his lips. “You like that?”

Cas nods quickly, holding onto Dean’s neck. Dean uses the precome gathered on his cock to slick his hand down Cas’ length and tugs him purposely. “ _Yeah_ \- yes, please,” Cas adds in a ragged whisper.

Dean grazes his teeth over Cas’ parted lips and grins as it drags a broken mewl from Cas. “Good.” The way his tongue punctuated the end of his word teases at Cas’ lips and Dean seals their lips together. Cas’ moan is louder, only muffled by Dean’s lips. Their bodies rock together with the pace of Dean’s hand, and their kiss breaks into something more hungry and feverish. Cas is already painfully hard, and he doesn’t know how long it’s going to take for Dean to get hard again, but he hopes it isn’t long. Dean breaks their kiss with a soft groan of his own and sits up to drag Cas’ pants down and toss them aside. He slots their bodies back together and kisses down Cas’ neck, letting his hands roam Cas’ skin exploringly.

They both know by now that Cas is easier to take apart, already so wound up with stress from work, it barely takes any effort from Dean to get him out of his mind. Dean’s cocky sometimes (and he mostly has the right to be, seeing as Cas already called him a sex god), and even that kind of turns Cas on. It’s almost ridiculous how attracted one person can be to another, Cas notes.

Dean’s teeth and tongue brush over one of Cas’ nipples and immediately, his string of thought is lost. Dean licks his nipple and toys with it gently between his teeth, his hands roaming up Cas’ flank and over his arms. The faint callouses on the tops of Dean’s palms brush over the sensitive parts of the underside of Cas’ arms and gives him goosebumps. Dean kisses wetly down over Cas’ sternum and over to his ribcage. He bites down on the sensitive skin and nurses it with his tongue, sucking a bruise onto the skin. Cas breathes Dean’s name and writhes underneath him. “So beautiful, Cas,” Dean whispers against the wet skin, sending new goosebumps down his spine. Cas quivers and Dean shakes his head, kissing down the middle of Cas’ abdomen. “So hot.”

Dean licks down the curves of his stomach and over the jut of his hip bones, punctuating the movement with a kiss and gentle bite on his hip. “Please, Dean,” Cas breathes in a low voice. Dean raises an eyebrow up to him with a half grin. He knows that Cas knows how to push his buttons, but that’s not stopping either of them. Dean teases him a little more, going slower and slower, kissing longer with every inch he gets closer to his dick. He presses a short kiss to the skin where Cas’ groin meets his thigh and hovers. When he doesn’t move, Cas makes an annoyed noise and bites his lip. Dean huffs a laugh and instead moves his lips to Cas’ thigh. “ _Dean_ ,” Cas grits out before he lets his head fall back, too overwhelmed by Dean’s lips trailing over his thighs to keep watching.

Dean squeezes his thighs, pushing them apart and bites down occasionally, sending new shockwaves through Castiel’s nerves. His hands push up on the underside of Cas’ thighs and Dean’s lips trail their way back up. Cas reaches his hands down to meet Dean’s on his thighs and holds them in place. Dean’s mouth finally finds Cas’ shaft and he lets his lips brush up the length slowly, until his breath alone is driving Cas crazy. Cas can feel himself begging unconsciously, tiny chants under his breath as he babbles mindlessly. Dean’s tongue peeks out to tease the head of his cock and Cas shudders. “Hold your thighs for me, baby,” Dean says evenly. The words ghost over Cas’ cock and he nods quickly, holding onto the underside of his thighs tighter.

Instead of Dean’s mouth on his cock, he gets a hand, squeezing gently at the base of his shaft to keep him grounded. Cas lets out an even breath, closing his eyes and waiting patiently. Dean moves his lips to Cas’ ass and licks a small stripe over the muscle. A breath gets hitched in Cas’ chest, but Dean shushes him comfortingly. Their ever-changing pace is wrecking Cas; he wants to go fast and hard, and right when they speed up, they slow back down and it’s making Cas dizzy. Dean seems to be turning it around, though, and works his tongue on Cas with more pressure. “Dean,” Cas moans softly. Dean licks him more eagerly, using his free hand to spread Cas a little wider. Cas feels Dean groan against his skin and the vibrations of his tongue on him make Cas moan louder. “ _Fuck_ , Dean,” Cas moans as Dean works his tongue faster.

Dean moves to squeeze lube onto his fingers and he immediately presses two to Cas’ hole. Cas lets out an even breath and wiggles his hips eagerly. Dean presses kisses along Cas’ stomach as he circles his fingers over and over again, pressing forward slightly just to the first knuckle and back out again. “Please,” Cas groans, his fingers digging into the meat of his thighs desperately.

“Relax, baby, I’ve got you,” Dean murmurs as he kisses up Cas’ sternum. He presses his fingers forward slowly and all the way in, and Cas lets out a long groan. “ _Fuck_ , you’re so hot, Cas.” Dean works his fingers slowly at first, scissoring them and gliding them in and out of Cas. Dean traces his lips up Cas’ body, pressing kisses, bites and hickeys to his skin as he works his way up his chest and neck. Cas moans Dean’s name under his breath as Dean fucks his fingers in harder, still not gaining too much speed. They pump a steady rhythm to match the breath coming hot against Cas’ neck. Dean hits Cas’ prostate, making Cas’ back arch and his toes curl, so Dean pushes his fingers forward to the same spot a few more times and Cas brokenly groans Dean’s name. Dean presses his face further into Cas’ neck and sucks on his collar. “God, I can’t wait to fuck you.”

“Hurry up, Dean.” Cas impatiently pushes his hips down to meet Dean’s hand as much as he can. Dean lets out a breathy chuckle as he slides in a third finger without breaking rhythm. “Oh fuck,” Cas sighs, letting his eyes fall closed as the back of his head hits the mattress. Dean works his fingers faster, his hips subconsciously rutting against Cas’ as the pace of his fingers increases. His teeth graze along Cas’ jaw as he breathes against Cas’ ear. Cas can faintly hear Dean mouthing words with his lips pressed to his ear, but the noise is drowned out by Cas’ moans. “ _Please_ , Dean, oh my God-” Cas grits out between breaths.

“Not yet,” Dean whispers into his ear, and Cas sighs with a whine. He can feel Dean smile and bite his own lip before kissing back down his neck. “I fucking love the way you sound.” Dean pulls his fingers out of Cas’ ass slowly, eliciting a protesting grunt from Cas. He’s cut off when Dean traces his tongue down Cas’ stomach and licks a stripe up the underside of his leaking cock. Cas arches his back and Dean pushes Cas’ hands off of his thighs.

Dean wraps his lips around the head of his dick and squeezes Cas’ thighs, using his thumbs to massage them. He moves his lips slowly, bobbing his head down and dragging his lips back up, all the while using his tongue to cushion the underside of his cock. Castiel can feel his eyes rolling back, getting dizzier still with their changing of pace. “You’re such an asshole,” he breathes with a shake of his head. Cas sits up on his elbows to watch Dean (which is probably a mistake because as beautiful as he normally is, it’s ridiculous how hot Dean is with his dick in his mouth). Dean’s not paying him any mind, working his head at his own pace and teasing Cas with twirls of his tongue around the head of his cock. He gives an especially hard suck that makes Cas whine and his fists clench, and Cas can see a cocky smirk playing at his cheeks.

Dean’s hand finds its way to the base of Cas’ shaft and just presses down firmly, occasionally rolling the palm of his hand against Cas’ balls. Cas sighs and brings one hand down to stroke over Dean’s hair and down the side of his face. Dean looks up at him and winks as he drags his plush lips up especially slowly and slides them off with a wet pop. A rush of breath escapes Cas’ lips and he licks his bottom lip, his hand remaining still on Dean’s cheek. “You like that, Cas?” Cas nods, watching Dean’s lips as he grazes them up and down his length. Dean smiles and presses kisses to the base of his shaft. Cas can’t tear his eyes off of the intense pink of Dean’s lips, made even more swollen by their work on his body.

Dean continues to mouth around his cock while he snakes his fingers between Cas’ thighs and pushes them back inside easily. Cas sucks his bottom lip back into his mouth and bites down on a moan. Dean wraps his lips around the head of his dick again and continues bobbing his head at the same slow pace, this time working his fingers in Cas’ ass at a matching pace. Cas moves the hand resting on Dean’s head and traces a finger down the side of his cheek and cups Dean’s slack jaw. He moves his thumb to gently touch his dick where Dean’s lips meet his skin, feeling them come down and meet his thumb every time he bobs his head. Dean opens his eyes again, probably studying the way Cas is enraptured by his lips. Dean pushes his lips down further to take Cas’ thumb in his mouth as well, teasing it with his tongue. Cas releases his bottom lip from his mouth with a sigh and moves his hand to brush back Dean’s hair.

Dean closes his eyes and works his mouth faster, sucking more adamantly as he bobs his head up. Cas falls back flat and covers his own face with his hands. Dean thrusts his three fingers in harsher, finding a new, quickened pace to meet his mouth on Cas’ dick. “ _God_ , Dean,” Cas moans, muffled from his hands. Dean finds his prostate with an especially pointed suck of his mouth and Cas lets out a loud moan. “ _Please_ , Dean- fuck me. Please.”

Dean pulls his mouth off finally and breathes hard against the sweat-coated skin of Cas’ stomach. He pushes his fingers in a few more times before pulling them out and sitting up on his knees. Dean makes quick work of putting a condom on and Cas positions himself on all fours in front of Dean. He lets his head fall and closes his eyes as he waits for Dean, catching his breath and grounding himself. When he feels Dean’s hard cock nudge against his ass, he wiggles his hips and pushes back eagerly. Cas hears Dean chuckle and pushes in straight to the hilt. A soft moan falls from Cas’ lips, and he pushes back for more. Dean smacks his ass lightly and Cas turns his head to glare at Dean. His glare is only met with a knowing grin.

Cas licks briefly over his bottom lip before biting down and watching as Dean does it again, and Cas bites back a groan. Dean pulls his hips back and pushes back in, not nearly fast enough, but he slaps Cas’ ass again and Cas grows impatient. “Fuck me, Dean,” Cas demands, staring him down challengingly. Cas pushes his ass back harder, encouraging Dean to move. Dean grins wickedly as he stops moving his hips, just holding onto Cas’ as Cas fucks himself back on Dean’s cock. “I hate you,” Cas whispers as he shakes his head. He pushes back harder and faster, but it’s not enough until Dean moves to meet his movements. Dean finally meets him and grabs onto his hips tightly, fingers digging into his skin as their bodies slam together forcefully. “ _Fuck! Yes!_ ” Cas shouts, squeezing his eyes shut and tossing his head back.

Dean thrusts in quicker, pulling Cas’ hips back harshly and getting impossibly deep. Cas lets out broken moans with every thrust, fisting his hands into the sheets beneath them. Dean pistols his hips in fast and relentless, and slaps the meat of Cas’ ass hard as he slams forward. Cas lets out a shout and falls to his elbows and puts his face into the mattress. Dean groans and rolls his hips forward slowly. “Jesus fucking Christ, Cas,” he breathes. “You’re so hot.” Dean’s hands roam up from his hips, up his back and one fists into the top of his hair. Dean tugs on his hair lightly as he thrusts in harder, still slow and mostly shallow. Cas lets out a muffled sob into the mattress, fists balled up tightly. “You like that, baby?”

Cas picks up his head and turns just enough so he can grit out, “Don’t ask stupid questions.”

Dean leans over him and huffs a laugh before kissing the top of his spine. He pulls his hips back and snaps his hips forward and knocking the wind out of Cas. “My bad,” he teases. Cas shakes his head and pushes his face back into the mattress, letting Dean fuck the moans out of him harshly. Dean moves his hands to Cas’ arms and silently asks permission to pull them back, and Cas moves his head to watch as Dean takes his wrists in his hands and hold them behind his back. Dean bites down on his bottom lip and holds onto Cas, using his arms as leverage to pull his whole body back and slam their hips together. Cas is the first one to shout and curse, but Dean isn’t far behind him, grunting out curses as he fucks into him with abandon.

There’s a sharp pain in his shoulders and across his chest from behind pulled back, but all it does is add to the intense pleasure building up inside Cas’ stomach. “ _F-fuck- me- me, Dean-!_ ” Cas moans wantonly. Dean’s hips snap forcefully against his, and Cas is almost sure the death grip on his wrists should leave faint bruises, and he gets more than a little turned on at the thought. Dean moves his hands so it holds both of Cas’ wrists in place and he gives Cas’ ass one hard slap to match as especially harsh thrust of his hips. “Dean! Oh my God.”

Dean lets go of Cas’ wrists as he leans forward and wraps an arm around Cas’ chest and pulls him up onto his arms. They rolls their bodies together, building a rhythm and Cas reaches one hand back to hold onto Dean’s head as Dean kisses his way over Cas’ shoulder. “God, you’re perfect.” Dean kisses each quiet word into Cas’ skin and Cas turns his head to bring their lips together. Dean uses the arm barred against Cas’ chest to pull him back gently as he settles back onto his heels, Cas’ knees settling on either side of his. Dean releases Cas’ kiss and moves his lips back to Cas’ shoulder and over the muscles at the top of his back. Cas rocks back slowly at first, hands on his knees to steady him. Dean’s hands rest on Cas’ inner thighs, squeezing appreciatively as Cas bounces rhythmically on Dean’s lap. “ _Fuck_ yeah, just like that,” he breathes against the top of Cas’ spine, gently biting down on the skin.

Cas lets his head fall back and Dean buries his face in the crook of Cas’ neck as his pace increases. “ _Yeah_ , Dean- fuck, it feels so good,” Cas whispers, reaching a hand back to fist in Dean’s hair. Dean nods and sucks on the skin of his neck, roaming his hands up and down Cas’ thighs as they move. Dean rests another hand on Cas’ lower abdomen and keeps their bodies flush together as Cas bounces more feverishly. Every upward movement of Cas is met with a strong hand pulling him back down and slamming their hips together, setting up a brutal pace. “Yes! G- _God_ \- Dean, fuck, D- _Dean!_ ”

“Fuck yeah, Cas, say my name,” Dean groans into his skin.

Cas lets out deep, raspy moans as their hips snap together and the grip he has on Dean’s hair tightens. “Dean- Dean, _oh my God_. I’m so close.” Dean nods and suddenly pushes Cas forward. Cas catches himself on his arms and starts to turn to look at Dean questioningly when Dean pulls him up and turns to face him. Dean wraps his arms around Cas’ waist and brings him in for a deep kiss. Cas sighs and clutches Dean’s shoulders. “Lay down,” Cas murmurs against Dean’s lips. Dean nods and kisses him one last time before laying down with his head propped up with a pillow.

Cas kisses his way up Dean’s stomach briefly before straddling his lap and bringing their lips together again. Dean’s hands glide up Cas’ torso and over his chest, coming up and framing his collar. Cas presses their foreheads together as he seats himself back on Dean’s cock slowly. Fully seated, he glances up to see Dean staring at his cheeks with lust-blown eyes, all look of arrogance from earlier gone and replaced with something much softer. Cas reconnects their lips as he rocks his hips back and sets up a new rhythm. Dean breathes heavily and mouths silent words against Cas’ lips as Cas fucks himself down onto Dean’s lap. Cas lets out a broken groan and digs his fingers into Dean’s chest to steady himself. Cas tells Dean he’s close (has been for way too long) and Dean nods, wrapping his arms underneath Cas’ shoulders and propping his knees up to give Cas a better angle.

Dean uses the new angle to meet each of Cas’ bounces, sending them into a brutal rhythm quickly. Their torsos flush together, they bury their faces in the heated crook of the other’s neck and build closer to their climax. Cas can feel himself building dangerously close- the heat of Dean’s body enclosing him, the sounds of their bodies and Dean’s voice, Dean’s cock slamming into him in perfect rhythm and hitting that spot- until Cas comes with a shout, squeezing his eyes shut and biting down on Dean’s shoulder.

Dean groans and holds on tighter, fucking into Cas wildly, chasing his own high. “ _Fuck_ \- Cas,” he grunts as his rhythm falters. Cas moans and grazes his teeth along Dean’s ear as he pushes his hips back harder to meet Dean’s thrusts. He moans Dean’s name in a chant into his ear, matching the harsh pace of their hips until he quietly asks for Dean to come for him. “C- _Cas_ -” Dean chokes out before pushing inside Cas one last time, holding onto him tightly and letting out a long groan. His body twitches with the last of his orgasm as he fucks into Cas with a few slow, shallow thrusts. “Oh my God.”

Cas pants as he slowly moves to rest their foreheads together and Dean nudges his cheek with his nose. Dean tilts his head to meet Cas’ lips for a long, sweet kiss. Dean’s hands slide down his back soothingly as their lips glide together effortlessly. Cas comes down from his high, breathing in Dean and tasting the sweetness of his lips, feeling the stubble of his jaw against his fingers and his cheek. They lay together unmoving for an undeterminable length of time, just kissing and lightly touching each other. Dean eventually cards his fingers over the top of Cas’ hair, pushing it back from his face and Cas leans back to look down at Dean fondly. Dean meets his eyes with a soft smile and Cas caresses the side of his face, swiping a thumb over Dean’s cheek as Dean lets his head fall into the gesture.

Dean gently pulls Cas back down for another brief kiss before tapping on Cas’ hip to silently get him to move. Cas rolls onto his back relaxes against the mattress and his pillow, watching as Dean gets up and walks into the bathroom. Dean comes back a few moments later with a wet wash cloth and wipes Cas’ abdomen for him to clean him off. He tosses the cloth into the laundry basket and settles into the bed next to Cas, pulling the sheets up over both of them. Dean pecks him a few soft times on the lips before Dean curls up with him pressed flush against Cas’ back. Dean’s strong arms wrap around his waist and Cas sighs as Dean lightly kisses along Cas’ shoulder and the back of his neck.

Cas runs his hands up Dean’s forearms and holds out Dean’s hand so their hands meet from palms to fingertips. “Dean,” Cas starts quietly, watching the way he traces shapes lightly along the back of Dean’s hand. Dean hums in response, also watching their hands. Cas doesn’t entirely know what he’s supposed to say, but he feels saying _something_ would be appropriate. “I… Will things change?”

Dean doesn’t respond immediately, but he takes a deep breath and sighs. “Depends on what you mean,” he replies quietly.

Cas holds Dean’s hand sandwiched between his and strokes his fingers along the soft skin of the back of Dean’s hand. “May I be honest?”

“Yeah, man. Always.”

Cas nods briefly. “I know you said you don’t want to see other people, but I’m afraid that… I’m afraid that once I agree to become serious, you’ll expect things to be different and become upset with me when I’m the same.” Dean’s head shifts to watch him speak, chin resting on Cas’ shoulder. “I don’t mean to sound like my doubt is with you. I know you’re a good man. You deserve someone who can show you affection properly and dedicate their time to you. Whereas I’m busy with my career, and I’m…”

Dean kisses his shoulder affectionately. “Look, man, I get it. You’ve been burned before, and you have every right to be cautious with me.” Dean moves his hand to intertwine his fingers with Cas’ and strokes his thumb over Castiel’s. “But I meant what I said. I like being with you. I feel like this… Y’know, it’s a nice fit. I totally get that your career comes first, and you have no idea how awesome that is to me. I respect the hell outta you, Cas.” Castiel smiles inwardly and Dean presses their locked hands to Cas’ chest, pulling him closer. “Is that all you’re worried about?”

“Mostly,” Cas responds honestly. “I feel like you deserve more than I can give you.”

“Why don’t you let me decide that?” Dean pulls Cas slightly so he can lean in for a kiss. It’s chaste and brief, but Dean looks into his eyes to try to show Cas he means his words. “I’m only asking for whatever you wanna give.” He pecks Cas on the lips twice. “Okay?”

Cas nods understandingly and they relax back in place, Dean nestling closer against his back. “Can I ask another question?” Dean huffs a laugh against the nape of his neck and nods. “Why do you want to be my boyfriend?”

Dean hums in thought and pulls Cas closer, and Cas can feel the smile on Dean’s lips. “I’d like to be able to kiss you at work.” Cas mumbles a comment about how that’s unprofessional and Dean laughs again. “I think it’s okay if I’m your steady guy. And it would be nice to know I have something meaningful in my life. I’m just past the point where I want to go on dates. We’re not young anymore, Cas. And I’m glad- being young was overrated- but you make me feel young in all the good ways.” Cas licks his lips and feels a smile tug at his cheeks. “Man, I’d really just love to be able to come home and chill out next to the person I feel comfortable with, someone who _wants_ me around. I want to spend my nights in a bed with someone I care about.”

“That’s a good answer,” Castiel returns quietly. He feels Dean relax and let out even breaths against his skin. Cas searches for his next sentiment, knowing it should be something more than ‘I like you.’ “I want you around, Dean,” Cas settles on. He feels Dean’s smile against the back of his neck and Cas acknowledges that was the correct response. “I think I wouldn’t mind if you kissed me at work on occasion.” Again, Dean doesn’t verbally respond, but he smiles and kisses the back of Cas’ head as he pulls him in closer to his chest. Cas closes his eyes and lets the even breaths against the back of his neck lull him to sleep.

After that, things between Dean and Castiel seem to fall into place. As it turns out, it’s not actually difficult at all for their lives to intertwine, and Dean was honest when he said he would never ask for more than Cas could give. It’s nice having Dean around, and he’s a really good man. He treats Cas well and still devotes a lot of time to his family and work, not batting an eye at Cas’ insane work schedule. Cas finds it incredibly easy to settle into a rhythm with Dean. Before Cas knows it, a few more months have already passed them by.

This particular evening, he’s coming home from work and he can faintly hear music pouring from behind his apartment door. He’d gotten Dean a vintage record player to play his records, and Dean insisted they keep it at his apartment (something about not wanting Garth to use it and break it by accident). The scratchy sound of the old Led Zeppelin record fills the apartment (accompanied by Dean quietly singing along) when he opens the door, and he spots Dean’s feet hanging over the side of the couch. “That you, babe?” Dean asks without moving.

“Who else would it be?” Cas returns with a smile.

“Your other boyfriend,” Dean teases.

“We only meet at his house.” Cas sets his bag down on the counter and takes his shoes off, setting them aside.

Dean laughs. “Oh, hey, I was thinking we could do pizza tonight.” Cas walks over to the couch and slides into place behind him with Dean lying between Cas’ legs, his back to Cas’ chest. “I can cook if you don’t want pizza.”

Cas wraps his arms around Dean’s shoulders and kisses the top of his head. “Pizza is fine.” Dean tilts his head enough so Cas can kiss his temple. “How was your day?”

“A whole bunch of bullshit, mostly. Dude, seriously, from the time I woke up until the time I got here, it was like the world was just out to get me.”

“That must’ve been very difficult for you,” Cas deadpans as he lightly massages Dean’s neck and the top of his shoulders.

“I could’ve died, Cas. It’s serious.” Cas smiles inwardly and nods with his chin pressed to the top of Dean’s head. Dean goes on to talk about his day, and Cas listens to his (obviously exaggerated) depiction of his day in great detail. Cas runs his hands down Dean’s chest, letting his eyes close as he absorbs Dean’s story. Dean begins mindlessly massaging Castiel’s hands and wrists and Cas relaxes behind him.

It dawns on Cas just how easily Dean had slipped into his life, so easily Cas hardly noticed. At this point, Dean stays with him more often than not. He has a key to the apartment, a whole drawer of his own in Castiel’s dresser, a few things hanging up in the closet. The bathroom sink has a few hair products and an additional toothbrush that hadn’t been there seven months ago. He has his programs recorded on Cas’ DVR, and keeps his vinyls in a crate underneath the table they placed the record player on.

Dean’s presence in his life is more than his things being in his apartment, though. He brings Cas out of his shell and wants him to share about the stresses of his day, the uncomfortable thoughts Cas never would’ve voiced before Dean came along. He’s always there to listen to Castiel rambling about this new breakthrough in a medical journal he came across, even when they’re surely not interesting. Instead of coming home to an empty apartment every night, sleeping in a cold bed, Cas comes home to Dean and he has someone wearing in the other side of the mattress.

He’s not just physically there; Dean resides somewhere inside his subconscious as well. He finds himself picking up things at the grocery store that he knows Dean likes without thinking about it. Cas will talk with him about Ben and Sam, Sam’s family, and wondering how they’re doing at various points in the day. They hadn’t met, but he was informally introduced via one of Dean’s Skype calls.

Their lives together didn’t take long to turn into second nature. They take care of each other without having it be a big deal, which is something Cas hasn’t had before. Maybe it’s the fact that they met after they’ve already experienced life and fallen into their routines, their worlds don’t revolve around each other, but they do overlap. It’s an unspoken comfort of aging and maturing; the relationships are less about needing _someone_ and more about wanting one specific person in your life.

Cas suddenly finds himself realizing the fact that Dean is that person in his life, but it’s not a frightening revelation. It’s comforting. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he’s known Dean loves him for a while, even if it was implied by their actions instead of voiced. In the same respects, he knows he’s loved Dean in return. Castiel’s fondness for Dean isn’t some overwhelming flood of emotions like a dam breaking inside him; it more resembles a gentle breeze whispering through the trees, a constant and unconscious part of his nature. (Cas isn’t very good with metaphors, but he finds this one appropriate.)

“-Anyways, at least it’s over now. How was your day, hon?” Dean’s question flies over his head, his voice barely registering in Cas’ ears. Dean tilts his head back. “Cas?” Finally, Dean brings him out of his train of thought and anchors him back to reality. Cas hums in response. “How was your day?”

Cas looks down and observes Dean closely, admiring the familiarity of his freckles and wrinkles at the various parts of his face. “I love you.” He doesn’t say it for a reaction, just a simple voicing of his thoughts.

A wide grin slowly spreads across Dean’s face, and Cas returns it with a small smile of his own. “I told you you’d come around.”


End file.
